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Open Poetry #33
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James_A_Fraser
Senior Member
since 2003-09-03
Posts 972
Out Making Anticlines

0 posted 2004-08-03 11:17 AM





Why do  stars            Too, too rash,
stand so very close,        too bright tonight,
loud, nearly tasteless     like would-be lovers,
on the purple black       the flashing diamonds,
‘til the sky shines like       all the pearly sequins
a velvet painting?             set on purple black
And the big moon         with their painted-on
why come out now       white fluorescence
striding out here        to play like Elvis
in those blue          to the crowd in
suede shoes,  this flea market
tight white       art gallery.
jeans cut        Rock it,
way low?     moon!
Oh, the beat of
the  blue
moon
!

© Copyright 2004 James A. Fraser - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-08-03 11:20 AM


I found me a

Library *click*

Karilea - if I whisper, will you listen?  Keeping in mind, I must stand close...

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
2 posted 2004-08-03 12:20 PM


Jamie

Interesting what you've done with this...I like the form and can see the sky in velvet singing blue suede...yep!  Enjoyed!  

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-08-03 12:21 PM


Wonderful Jamie!!!  I love this!
How creative you are!
Hugs~

~ Those who complain the sun has gone out of their world
       ....have obviously never danced in the rain ~

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
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displaced
4 posted 2004-08-03 12:37 PM


YOU ROCK!

This is awesome!

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-08-03 02:44 PM


An ABSOLUTE WOW, Mr. Fraser!!!   ....jo
MGROVES
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since 2004-02-01
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california
6 posted 2004-08-03 03:36 PM


loved this   very creative touch


suthern
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since 1999-07-29
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Louisiana
7 posted 2004-08-04 02:51 PM


I don't use this term very often... but it's completely applicable here... BRILLIANT!

Whether I read this as two poems or as one, your words are perfect... the outstanding visual aspect just leaves me awestruck. *S*

muted
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since 2004-01-15
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Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
8 posted 2004-08-19 03:20 PM


oh wow...this is great!!
Laughing at just how clever it is

Marge Tindal
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since 1999-11-06
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
9 posted 2004-08-19 04:19 PM


OhJaime~
THIS ... THIS is beautiful in both voices~
I love the heart of you~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

Email noles1@totcon.com

serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-08-19 04:35 PM


This one is so cool...don't think I can try the fancy stuff.

I've been trying to write in dual voice and so far no dialogue has commenced. (One side of me keeps me winning!)

But I'll keep this one for study too, if you don't mind.

Enjoyed.

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