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Open Poetry #33
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2004-08-03 07:27 AM


Nowhere to run
In terror she stank
Tears of fear making her weak
Cowering in the dark and dank
Streaked dirt on her cheeks
As the tormentor still seeks
To batter her once more
Striking her fetal form
As done time and time before
Causing flow of red and warm
To drip to her bed of rubbish
From the constant paining
That never seems to vanish
Despite the cruel maiming
Nowhere to run
For a torment never done.

Fields of spring flowers
With sweetness that overpowers
She combs her golden hair
And places white flowers there,
A couple behind each ear.
No sound echoes too loud
Quiet as a passing cloud
Across the meadow she floats
In a ribbons and petticoats
In a place she doesn’t share.

Gloom


© Copyright 2004 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
1 posted 2004-08-03 07:29 AM


Beautifully done, Gloomy One.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
2 posted 2004-08-03 07:37 AM


Thank you, Susan Caldwell,
You are kind in your praise

Gloom

MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
3 posted 2004-08-03 07:38 AM


wow! read twice, still wow!


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2004-08-03 07:40 AM


Professor,
You know you can learn to control a dream.
Enjoyed the write.

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
5 posted 2004-08-03 07:42 AM


Love the contrast here.   The first verse was driven with intensity, the second cooling in your word stream.  Excellent transition.  Very much enjoyed.
               miscellanea  

Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression
6 posted 2004-08-03 07:47 AM


Thank you, MGROVES,
Pleased you enjoyed

Thank you, Seymour,
I’ve never been able to control them,
Just the words that describe.

Thank you, miscellanea,
Always a pleasure to please,
Duality and transitions are familiar subjects.

Gloom


iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2004-08-03 10:36 AM


Such stark contrast in the two stanzas.  Much enjoyed....and I agree, some dreams can be changed!   ....jo
Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
8 posted 2004-08-03 10:39 AM


I agree with seymour, I control my dreams otherwise the past would forever haunt me...Incredible writing... very powerfull

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
9 posted 2004-08-03 03:25 PM


Nowhere to run...

except maybe into dreams...wanting them to come true

Nice...
M

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
10 posted 2004-08-03 03:27 PM


Powerful imagery!  Enjoyed.

JL



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