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Open Poetry #33
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The Tooth of Time
| Open Poetry #33 |
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The Tooth of Time |
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Broken Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271The woods 
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THE TOOTH OF TIME Feels like I'm going nowhere fast And that my best hours belongs to the past I'm Still young but growing old Pinkish red and warm delight time will blue and turn to cold With words of love and hearts of stone You act like friends but nothing more 'Cause when I cry I cry alone -------------------------------------------------- (dedicated to the years 99/00 and The Phantom Club, the best years and the best friends of my life) |
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| © Copyright 2004 Jay Hartson - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Interesting feel to this piece, I liked the flow. Susan Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
"The Tooth of Time" ~ clever title! The "Phantom Club" ~ intriguing name! ~'Cause when I cry I cry alone The way you ended your poem with your words placed as such, gave the visual impression of being "alone". Very effective!  EA |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
The tooth of this poem really bites (sorry, I could not resist; forgive me please). No, really, I thought this was a clever write, exposing so much of your personality in such a short piece, and well written. And you are right, it does bite to be alone. |
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Copperbell Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956 |
your poetry reminds me so much of my own experiences...I know about that - the best hours belong to my past - then I discovered I was waiting to live and decided to start living again |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I have a "young poem" very similar in vein...I don't know that it had the bite of yours, but you did make me recall my long ago. And that is a very good thing. Thank you. |
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