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Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

0 posted 2004-07-29 11:56 PM

I'm piecing together
glass of a broken frame
Each sharp edge is the same
just sHARP enough to cut
I bleed on the picture
and leave a crimson stain
to match marks from the rain
or maybe it the tears
Caused from my many fears

All your dimples I touch
This picture isn't much
But I can't reALLY say
more then "please will you stay"
To this faded picture
every dAY I PASS
covered in broken glass

Juju

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

1 posted 2004-07-30 12:14 PM

Nice writing...James

Midnitesun

Member Empyrean

since 2001-05-18

Posts 28647
Gaia

2 posted 2004-07-30 12:22 PM

sad, but well done, juju

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

3 posted 2004-07-30 01:13 PM

Thank you, but I think I titled it wrong, but oh well, heh I have a question, I want to revise a poem I did a while ago How do I do that? I know they don't like reposting, but I see some errors in the way I went about it.

Juju

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

4 posted 2004-07-30 01:30 PM

"I bleed on the picture
and leave a crimson stain
to match marks from the rain
or maybe it the tears
Caused from my many fears"

Love and conflicts, I think go hand in hand. You have pictured it well in this write.

JL

She said: ”You look cute in the dark.”

Susan
Member Ascendant

since 2004-03-27

Posts 5104
walking the surreal

5 posted 2004-07-30 02:48 PM

This one cuts deep, well written.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind.

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

6 posted 2004-07-30 09:45 PM

Thank you for replying!

I'm really glad you liked it

Juju

ice
Member Elite

since 2003-05-17

Posts 3404
Pennsylvania

7 posted 2004-07-31 09:17 PM

Enjoyed this, even through its sadness..
Do the capitalized parts of certain words have special meaning?
-------ice
><>

Juju
Member Elite

since 2003-12-29

Posts 3429
In your dreams

8 posted 2004-07-31 09:48 PM

Thank you. Umj actually my lab top has small keys so it was a booboo, Heheh. Yet the top phrase was supose to be like that, But if I go back I would und it all I think.

Juju

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