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Open Poetry #33
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Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793


0 posted 2004-07-29 01:45 PM


She wore emerald in her eyes
   That fell in flutter of reflection
Across the ripples of her surface
To dance on too bright points
Of sun
          Blinding me
To the depths of green

Yet I sighed
        As if I had breathed in a part
Of the subtle scent
                               Change brings

unaware long nights had strewn
Drifts of shadowed death afloat
That in later gather of sunrise
Appeared but browner edges to the gold


I have slept in her bed
   And turned in closed eyed slumber to grasp
Simple handful of sand
              That ran between the cracks
Where fingers could not hold
     While in her rage of rushing past
I was ignored


I would this day
                              In  retrospect
Not again try to hold such passion
                    Cold
   But try to wed her
                                   To something other than

My soul


© Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-07-29 01:48 PM


I would this day
                              In  retrospect
Not again try to hold such passion
                    Cold
   But try to wed her
                                   To something other than

My soul
right to the core, felt deeply
gawd capt...
applause....

this is a

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
2 posted 2004-07-29 01:53 PM


The images and feelings this provokes leave me speechless..

  wow...

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
3 posted 2004-07-29 01:54 PM


Oh my goodness!  Palpitation alert!  Why is it that so many of us have worn the same shoes? Bad metaphor--Where is that Desenex?

Enjoyed, Cpat. Thanks for the many keepers.
                Mis E

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-07-29 01:54 PM


Every once in a while, a poem punches one gently in the gut.

I'm gutted.

Bravo, Sir.

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
5 posted 2004-07-29 01:56 PM


Oh darn, this hit so hard, I forgot to check it in the library!  Now I've got it...

    

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
6 posted 2004-07-29 01:59 PM


Ron

WOW!!!

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2004-07-29 02:05 PM


She wore emerald in her eyes
   That fell in flutter of reflection
Across the ripples of her surface
To dance on too bright points
Of sun
          Blinding me
To the depths of green


what a nice place to be and an amazingly pretty poem

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

8 posted 2004-07-29 02:06 PM


(chuckling)... you all are far too kind...

  the river does indeed have a hold.. she is a mistress who in her coldness and in her beauty... seduces past the point of reason


Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
9 posted 2004-07-29 02:14 PM


  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2004-07-29 02:40 PM


"I would this day
                              In  retrospect
Not again try to hold such passion
                    Cold
   But try to wed her
                                   To something other than

My soul"

I felt this...deeply.
Thank you Captain.
Hugs~

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
11 posted 2004-07-29 03:08 PM


you are amazing .... what a write.....

I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone though you're still with me
I've been alone all along..Now I'm bound by the life you left behind

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

12 posted 2004-07-29 07:11 PM


I have slept in her bed
   And turned in closed eyed slumber to grasp
Simple handful of sand
              That ran between the cracks
Where fingers could not hold
     While in her rage of rushing past
I was ignored

======================


damn you... I dont miss my muse until I read you...
your writings make me feel things that need to be written out...

if only I could write them like this...

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
13 posted 2004-07-29 08:58 PM


A very passionate one, friend. That note of longing, it's nearly always present in your writing.


Corinne

Mysteria
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Member Laureate
since 2001-03-07
Posts 18328
British Columbia, Canada
14 posted 2004-07-31 01:21 PM


Longing is such a strong sadness, and when witnessed or shared, can tug at heartstrings like no other.  Corinne is right, I too always in the background of almost everything you write feel a squelched sense of longing.  If this is what it brings out, I felt it, so I hope you can get to it and write it out more often.
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
15 posted 2004-07-31 01:45 PM


I wish I had written this -- for more reasons than I can say, and for more reasons than I can say. Maybe I will write it, some day....until then I thank you, for having done it for me.

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
16 posted 2004-07-31 02:41 PM


I loved the title, as well as the poem.   .....jo
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
17 posted 2004-07-31 04:53 PM


Colourful in it's simplicity Ron.  Profound  in it's expression.

believe in what your heart feels...

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
18 posted 2004-07-31 08:53 PM


Excellent poetry, sir Cpat
Unusual form, yet the content stays intact
and is easy to follow...
enjoyed
------ice
  ><>

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
19 posted 2004-07-31 09:54 PM


Beautiful

Love,
Juju

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
20 posted 2004-08-01 04:14 AM


I never know what to say when I read you
Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
21 posted 2004-08-01 06:17 PM


left me floating with this one

but then, that tends to be the case with a write from your pen

Decaflame
Senior Member
since 2001-05-11
Posts 1635

22 posted 2004-08-04 09:17 AM


Sometimes, once is not enough...so perhaps some others will catch this the second time around.  I do want to hold your poetry in my own hands...

don't ever forget that.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
23 posted 2004-08-04 04:01 PM


Oh, Cap'n... those last lines would make a stone applaud. *S* This is superb!!
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
24 posted 2004-08-04 06:57 PM


" the river does indeed have a hold.. she is a mistress who in her coldness and in her beauty... seduces past the point of reason"

quoting you...another poetic beauty

*much depth in your soul

M

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
25 posted 2004-08-04 07:03 PM


nice
babygirlwlove
Senior Member
since 2004-10-10
Posts 1180
New York City
26 posted 2004-10-20 09:15 AM


how lovely is that...

**baby blue**

**Intoxicant to the SouL**

littlewing
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-03-02
Posts 9655
New York
27 posted 2004-10-20 09:17 AM


good God, Ron - you write with such grace:

I would this day
                              In  retrospect
Not again try to hold such passion
                    Cold
   But try to wed her
                                   To something other than

My soul


I would love to see you and Ed write together, what a beauty that would be, the both of you have this innate gift for seeing beauty in simple things.


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