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Open Poetry #33
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Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast

0 posted 2004-07-28 08:14 PM


(edited repost)


Once upon a time
we did mesh
bound as we were
through threads of
longing & empathy

It began with one link
Then a network-
A history of little things
rusted & new

Together we weaved
fragility along a seemingly
fortified foundation
back then we danced
between the twins with
no safeties...

Many thought me insane
& you, crazy
when in reality
we both were
simply,

wired...
~tier

© Copyright 2004 R.T. Webster-Mosby - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2004-07-28 08:16 PM


Very good metaphor......great write!  .......jo
Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
2 posted 2004-07-28 08:20 PM


I like this.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Tiersdin
Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364
east coast
3 posted 2004-07-28 08:45 PM


Thanks Illiana and Susan for taking the time to read and comment.

~tier

Broken
Member
since 2000-03-12
Posts 271
The woods
4 posted 2004-07-29 01:14 AM


"Many thought me insane
& you, crazy
when in reality
we both were
simply,

wired..."

I like it, I like that ending, It creates a sort of silence before the last word or line is said, it makes it more emotional.

~Broken~

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