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Open Poetry #33
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Jessie Carstein
Junior Member
since 2004-01-08
Posts 41


0 posted 2004-07-28 10:29 AM


I tried so hard for this,
Fought against the odds of you,
But now I have finally realised,
My words can never be true.

It’s funny isn’t it?
How simple the end can be,
I imagined more darkness than this,
Perhaps there is some hope for me.

I was a foolish and romantic man,
Believing in a thing called love,
Now I lie broken on this plain of fire,
And await my ascension to the world above.

It’s seems so easy to negate responsibility,
To say you aren’t the one to blame,
But sometimes you need to face it,
And burden the sack of shame.

The world of my flesh,
Are pages lost in an ancient tome,
Voices lost many ages ago,
Finally call me home.

I waited long for you,
So we could walk this fate as one,
But you never came to my burnt soul,
So alone I turn and walk on.

Finally I have reached the very end,
And she let’s go of my ethereal hand,
The spirit that guided me here,
Leaves me a stranger in a stranger land.

I know what this world about me is.
But the peace is more than any I felt before,
Need for you dissipates like wind on an ocean,
And I embrace the love and faces of yore.

I was a broken and pathetic man,
Mangled on twisted rocks of blood,
Trapped between life and death
And the eternally spirits flood.

But now I am finally at my resting place,
Where the stone says I lie in peace,
Though the woman mourner kneels alone,
My hand on her throat grants her final release…


© Copyright 2004 Jessie Carstein - All Rights Reserved
Jeffrey Carter
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Member Elite
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367
State of constant confusion!
1 posted 2004-07-28 11:49 PM


This is a truly outstanding piece of writing!

My interpretation of it is this...

You are writing about the death of a dream? The dream of sharing a life with a certain someone? Correct?

Anyway, that is what I thought of when I read it, probably because I have been down that road before.

Again, this is an outstanding piece of writing! Keep 'em coming!

rainydaymusic
Junior Member
since 2004-01-14
Posts 26

2 posted 2004-07-28 11:59 PM


Very epic and captivating
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
3 posted 2004-07-29 01:06 AM


Well written but, oh, hoping that this is not the case.  No other person is worth dying over.   ....jo
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