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Open Poetry #33
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-07-28 08:44 AM



chain link jello
when the wind carries
her hands plug the holes
and none leaks
down her gown

night chews mexican tea
with her mouth closed
the gangies are stacked
end to end in cribs
that no babies have known

chevy side prisons
with the windows down
and a rabbit watch dog
dancing his doe
to fill her needles

sun is slow this am
hung over at the gin
maybe blood eyed too
she may never come
to the one who works

for food or wine or sin
___________
Dark


scribble note...colonia is the gangie side of this barrio..chain link jello is the plastic covering of the fences that looks like jello when the wind moves it around..some of the druggies and hookers work out of cars along the fence ...mexican tea is the smell of the recycle pits that wafts across the neighborhood........now you see why the camoflage covers my pen..dark


© Copyright 2004 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2004-07-28 09:01 AM


Dark Stranger
You symbols are a tasty bite
but the tea is very strong.
Enjoyed

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

2 posted 2004-07-28 09:06 AM


well sir, sounds like you described my neighborhood?  How did you know?

Very poignant...gripping, tugging at the heartstrings....this one runs around pinching everyone to wake up!  And we should!

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
3 posted 2004-07-28 09:11 AM


Master sy...thanks amigo..and yes that tea is way powerful stuff..rank is more like it?


_______________

MS LeeJ, thanks for the read...dang we are neighbors? now how strange is that..sis is that you?  

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
4 posted 2004-07-28 10:19 AM


sun is slow this am
hung over...
maybe blood eyed too
she may never come
to the one who works

for food or wine or sin

~*~

does descriptive just come easy
to one who sees with night eyes?

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-07-28 10:21 AM


A walk upon the dark side for me -- I live in pleasantville.  I like my sunshine life, but then I appreciate being reminded that not all is blue sky pretty.  It saddens me, this darkness, for hearts are meant to know the light and there is little here.  As always, you words make this so vivid and real.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
6 posted 2004-07-28 10:31 AM


yep, I was thinking 'vivid' too....
it's such a sad look at life but unfortunately very real for some folks. And I always like the way you describe things...you definately have a way

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

7 posted 2004-07-28 10:34 AM


only your eyes can describe things in a view that we all can see.
thanks....

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

8 posted 2004-07-28 11:07 AM


YEAH IT'S ME, me amigo, YOU SAID YOU WERE GOING TO VISIT MOM AND YOU'D BE RIGHT BACK, WHERE THE HECK HAVE YOU BEEN FOR THE LAST 35 YEAR????? and where the hecks my green card?????hehehehehe

I GAVE UP LOOKIN?????

She exclaimed, standing there with one hand on hip, the other hand's finger poking you in the chest with....

hehehehehheehe

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
9 posted 2004-07-28 11:17 AM


"and a rabbit watch dog
dancing his doe
to fill her needles"


good grief...I want your eye!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Startime55
Member Elite
since 2003-04-05
Posts 2148
Alberta, Canada
10 posted 2004-07-28 02:25 PM


Your words open a window to the soul....powerful...

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2004-07-28 02:29 PM


Amazing write as always m'friend.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

12 posted 2004-07-28 05:11 PM


incredible write.
you are astoundingly gifted...
and we are the fortunate recipients.

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
13 posted 2004-07-28 05:18 PM


Hi DS

I have seen this, in LA before dawn near the flower market...you make a sad look at this dark side of life, living color.    

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

14 posted 2004-07-28 05:59 PM


Vivid,
in colors we may not choose.

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