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Open Poetry #33
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Ratleader
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Member Rara Avis
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0 posted 2004-07-27 11:58 AM



Morning With Mirrors

It’s a motel morning, same stiff woodlike chair,
same curtained window, same two mirrors.
I find myself between them, vaguely distressed
by the seemingly endless copies of that man
the mirrors throw back as we fade down,
all receding eye to eye and back to back
until we’re swallowed in the flat entropy of glass.

Each is me I guess, but I don’t feel it;
I wonder if we’re all the same edition.
Does every me have a wife still sleeping?
Did they move in unison to cuddle our pillows
and trap us out of bed twelve seconds after
we creaked off yawning to our motel johns?
Did we leave the many lights off to still
the wife-waking thunder of all those little fans,
just as the countless red dots on the faces
of our cheap motel clocks changed to 5:23?

Pillow cuddling or not, we can’t go back,
we're too awake now, for one reason or another.
Frankly I hope we’re not all trapped like this,
writing this same poem in the curtained dark.
I hope some made it back in time for the hug.
I even hope a few have a mistress over there,
or a Black Lab the motel doesn’t know about.

I also hope the parking space outside
doesn’t hold an endless pile of brown minivans,
hope there’s at least the occasional orange Porsche,
and the mistresses and Porsches don’t all match.
Yes, let some guys in minivans manage that,
and some Porsche guys want to excite the missus.

She’s stirring now, dreaming something into
my pillow, one last dream before she wakes
to find me sitting over here. I wonder which
reflection I am, and which she’ll be....

Either way the Coast Highway’s calling, and
the bright I see through my set of curtains
says it’s a good day to put the top down.



© Copyright 2004 Ed Ratledge - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-07-27 12:00 PM


WOW....

do it again.

passing shadows
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displaced
2 posted 2004-07-27 12:58 PM


yeah...it will be a good day for that
LeeJ
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since 2003-06-19
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3 posted 2004-07-27 01:29 PM


enjoyable read, very much enjoyed

may I suggest a BMW guy?????


dingusjr
Member
since 2003-09-24
Posts 415
Missouri
4 posted 2004-07-27 05:40 PM


When the wife awakes...which man will she choose??  Or which car, or which dog?
Interesting and strangely disjointed poem.

Martie
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since 1999-09-21
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5 posted 2004-07-27 06:58 PM


Ed

A science fiction poem....very interesting to think that each mirror immage might have it's own time and dimension.  It would make a good One Step Beyond program.  Enjoyed this, even with the sad feeling that came from it.    

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
6 posted 2004-07-27 10:52 PM


Martie's reply to this sounds close to what I would say so I'll just ditto her.  And add....thought provoking.  .....jo
suthern
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7 posted 2004-07-29 04:40 PM


This is superb, my friend. You captured the disturbing sensation of comfortable sameness that isn't always satisfactory... and you did so with delightful freshness...

Each is me I guess, but I don’t feel it;
I wonder if we’re all the same edition.
Does every me have a wife still sleeping?
Did they move in unison to cuddle our pillows
and trap us out of bed twelve seconds after
we creaked off yawning to our motel johns?
Did we leave the many lights off to still
the wife-waking thunder of all those little fans,
just as the countless red dots on the faces
of our cheap motel clocks changed to 5:23?

I love this section... your images are so sharp we can almost hear the newspapers being dropped outside the doors. *S*

Either way the Coast Highway’s calling, and
the bright I see through my set of curtains
says it’s a good day to put the top down.

From the surrealism of pre-dawn reflections to the reality of a beautiful day... excellence all the way!!


Jeffrey Carter
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State of constant confusion!
8 posted 2004-07-29 04:55 PM


The images in this reminded me of "The Dark Tower" series by Stephen King ... If you have read any of these books you will understand why I said that. If not, I strongly reccomend them to anyone who enjoyed this poem.

Very well done indeed!

miscellanea
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since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
9 posted 2004-07-29 05:15 PM


She’s stirring now, dreaming something into
my pillow, one last dream before she wakes
to find me sitting over here. I wonder which
reflection I am, and which she’ll be....

Either way the Coast Highway’s calling, and
the bright I see through my set of curtains
says it’s a good day to put the top down.

Even though it says "the Coast Highway's calling, and the bright I see" I didn't get this feel at all.  But, putting the top down seems like a good thing to do when traveling on a day even if it's a little cloudy.
      miscellanea

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