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Open Poetry #33
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I Sat And Waited
| Open Poetry #33 |
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I Sat And Waited |
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Timeless New Member
since 2004-03-04
Posts 9 |
I Sat And Waited Written By Timeless . ~{}~ . I sat and waited, staring at a shadow on the floor Growing colder with each icy breath I take to my heart I become a fast forward Video as people come and go But forgotten like a old movie that will never start I still sit and wait with patience, hoping you'd appear My soul punctured by these bike's speeding past My eyes bleed with this anticipation of wanting to see ya Each new person I see, kills my hopes like the last It gets darker in the air and my heart and soul The sun sets on my life with heavy regret I had visions of you and me together, growing old I've known you for a lifetime, but still we haven’t met I pick myself up from this bench looking grave And look at the sun set beyond my sea of dreams My hearts really drowning now, it needs to be saved The World is empty to me now, so it seems I sat and waited, staring at a shadow on the floor Growing colder with each icy breath I take to my heart I waited for ever, just to hear you say hello But forgotten like a old movie that will never start . ~{}~ .  [This message has been edited by Timeless (07-27-2004 08:47 AM).] |
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| © Copyright 2004 Timeless - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Timeless New Member
since 2004-03-04
Posts 9 |
anyone care to comment? |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I enjoyed the read... you ask for no critiquing...but there are two small things...patience instead of patients in verse 2 and hear instead of here...in the last verse... I could feel the loneliness throughout your words M |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
I believe when one yearns for something so strongly, it never comes, why? Maybe b/c we are not yet ready...but when one becomes busy preoccupied with everything else but our own wants and needs, bop...all of a sudden, right there in front of you, comes all things. This was an excellent write, as I could feel the dissappointment and yearning. Good One! |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Timeless, gee where have you been? It's like you've already been here for a long time. This was a good write. Kindda sad, but appreciated. ......jo |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
 gawd! that is so sad!I love this! understand the ache so well... |
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Timeless New Member
since 2004-03-04
Posts 9 |
thank you for all your kind replys.....more coming soon :-) |
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