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Open Poetry #33
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Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal

0 posted 2004-07-26 10:20 AM


the music flowed
in blue hues of country grass
banjos strumming
bows flying across fiddle strings
the twang of voices harmonizing
setting my blood to dance in my veins

the smell of air fresh on the farm
the tumble of children laughing
rolling across the fields
the kiss of the golden sun setting
alighting the earth in amber glow
and there was you

friends and strangers intermingled
meeting in strains of congeniality
stories shared of the old days and old ways
while tossing back a couple of beers
and dining upon pot luck presents
and there was you

pretending the cowboy by hay bale roping
cracking the whip at the speed of sound
watching the girls chase little men
the crescent of moon rising
the scent of evening enveloping
and there was you

lanterns now lit and hanging
stars littering velvet skies as diamonds
look, Cassiopeia and the Big Dipper
folk start folding up blankets and chairs
riding in hay wagon exodus
but still there was you

the lighting of the fire warmed chill of night
hushed voices now drifted in gentle conversation
the crackle and pop of flames now serenaded
and the blood danced within my veins
sitting there next to you

s.a.t.



Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

© Copyright 2004 s.a.t. - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-07-26 10:25 AM


the music flowed
in blue hues of country grass
banjos strumming
bows flying across fiddle strings
the twang of voices harmonizing
setting my blood to dance in my veins


Each and every line was so descriptive and flowed, as the entire poem, but this opening paragraph took the reader off to your world and you could hear thos banjos...a happy poem...filled with love.  

Wonderfully penned

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
2 posted 2004-07-26 10:30 AM


thank you LeeJ, I appreciate these kind words.  it was a most wonderful evening.

  susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2004-07-26 11:24 AM


A magical time, described masterfully.

Love, Margherita

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
4 posted 2004-07-26 11:27 AM


Vivid experience through your words.  Wonderful write.

JL



iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
5 posted 2004-07-26 12:35 PM


Susan, this brought back such fond memories of me as a teenager with my boyfriend at 4-H campfire.  Much enjoyed the colors and sounds I heard in this one.   Hope the tournament went well!   .....jo
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-07-26 12:46 PM


wow! what a night! what a scene! ...and what memories it brought back *sigh*
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
7 posted 2004-07-26 12:49 PM


Susan

Sounds wonderful....like wanting to be there!

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

8 posted 2004-07-26 02:31 PM


Geez... YOU HAVE GOT TALENT!!!!!! It seems almost effortless to you.
                  *Allison*

~~~***~~~Come away with me, Wendy. Come away to Neverland~~~***~~~

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2004-07-26 02:48 PM


I must have been there as well ~ 'cause it sure as chickens, I mean "dickens", feels as tho' I had been! You really created a fine  mood with your superb writing!

So vivid! So emotive! So gall darn convincing! Very well done, Susan!


Linda

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
10 posted 2004-07-26 07:26 PM


Thank you all my dear friends.  Indeed, sometimes it is easy to write when the magic of the night, the emotion of simply being, floods through and runs as words upon paper.  I do so appreciate you all letting me know how this touched you and I appreciate all the encouragement.

Hugs to all   Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
11 posted 2004-07-26 08:50 PM


Susan,  should I comment...when so many
accolades have been given?  Should I even
write a word,  when so much is said of you,
the poetess?  

Darn right I should!!!!

This is an awesome poem,  so easy to visualize...the romance certainly filled the
night air....very nicely done....And you
went and played with knives?????  If you
are as good with "knives" as you are with
your pen,  well....you know what I am trying
to say....


Great write!!!

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
12 posted 2004-07-26 09:37 PM


Barry, my dearest Sir, your reply warms my heart, thank you.  

Yes, I love to play with knives, big and small, firearms, sticks, etc.  I just received my basic instructorship in combat arnis this weekend.  This is very exciting.  The branch of MA is actually more based upon actual street combat, ie. surviving close range attack, than it is on the art such as would be karate or judo, it uses techniques from many arts blended with the Filipino art of Arnis (which uses tools such as blades and sticks).  Today we dodged bullets, okay, soft air pistol, but still, I was not hit once and nailed the instructor (who played the bad guy) in the head six out of seven times.  It was very exciting.

Thanks again.  

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
13 posted 2004-07-26 10:03 PM


remind me to never challenge her to a duel
with pistols at 20 paces.....

You are welcome "Ma'am"  (out of respect, reverence,  fear..)....

Just kidding!!

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
14 posted 2004-07-26 10:41 PM


Barry,



S

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2004-07-27 12:52 PM


Wonderful...the title..."And There Was You"
is all over this...James

HopeS
Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596
Perth Western Australia
16 posted 2004-07-27 12:42 PM


what wonderful images you portrayed with words .... the night sounded truly magical

Hope

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
17 posted 2004-07-27 02:30 PM


James and Hope, thank you most kindly

Susan

MGROVES
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-02-01
Posts 3802
california
18 posted 2004-07-28 01:02 AM


wow! thanks for the night out.needed it. pictured this quite well, an excellant writting  :luvya:


Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
19 posted 2004-07-28 10:23 AM


MGROVES -- thank you kindly, glad you enjoyed.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

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