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Open Poetry #33
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CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA

0 posted 2004-07-25 09:23 AM


i see him sitting
outside the main
floor
on a small bench
next to the escalators

he hangs his
head and covers
his face with his
hands

he grips the
front of his hair
and pulls and looks
up

i can see the agony
of defeat in his eyes
i can see the despair
and the anger

and i can see the fear

he looks around
at all the people
passing by
and then stares
again
at his shoes

then he stands
walks to the
escalators and makes
his way up
away from the floor
and back to his
family

wondering all the while
on that long lonely
trip home

how's he gonna tell
her he lost the
rent money again.

© Copyright 2004 Christopher M. Grimm - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-07-25 09:29 AM


A good write, CM.  Honest portrayal of yet another addiction.  Well done.
scorpio
Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178
right...there
2 posted 2004-07-25 09:56 AM


This is a gripping write. And a story that happens daily.  Well done Chris.

believe in what your heart feels...

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2004-07-25 09:56 AM


This aches...really, really aches. I could feel the pain right down to my own shoes.

A very emotional read. My heart breaks for all those whose lives are torn apart by addiction. You truly captured the essence of this with your descriptive writing.


EA


Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
4 posted 2004-07-25 11:31 AM


This is so true...could be lottery tickets
as well,  or drug abuse/addiction...alcohol,
any number of other things...Online betting,
ad nauseum....  You penned it very well.
Thanx for the reminder,  hopefully someone
will learn from these words and seek the
help needed to overcome.  For it is never,
or very seldom ever done alone.

Jes
Member
since 2003-10-21
Posts 422
Denmark
5 posted 2004-07-25 11:47 AM


Hi Criss

Nice work here, i love when poetry has the power to giev an imagination to the reader a picture of the scene, i saw this mann sitting on taht bench with his hands up against his head i even imagined he had a black leather jacket black trouses and an open dark shirt on.

Good work here.

Smile

Jes

Life is for me to be - but always with a smile !

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-07-25 12:40 PM


wow...this write hits hard...

I know I would get addicted to the casino if I ever went and took it seriously. That's why I don't go.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
7 posted 2004-07-25 01:24 PM


Hi Chris.
Excellent write with vivid imagery.
Unfortunately living in a city with a casino I see and hear of this sort of happening far too frequently.  Well done poet sir!
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
8 posted 2004-07-25 01:50 PM


Chris -- great writing, really kept me reading; I could almost hear his silent sceam!
Snow
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Senior Member
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain
9 posted 2004-07-25 04:43 PM


ohhh chris... this made my heart feel so heavy..... well done!!!

snow

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless."
--Mother Teresa

CMGrimm
Senior Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 685
USA
10 posted 2004-07-25 09:39 PM


thanks everybody

Never be a carbon copy of anybody...make your own impressions.  - ANON.



dgvarner
Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552
High Springs, Florida
11 posted 2006-01-16 02:53 PM


I just love the way you tell a story...

enjoyed!

hugs, g

"We of the craft are all crazy...all are more or less touched."  Lord Byron

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
12 posted 2006-01-16 04:43 PM


DG~
Thanking YOU for the bounty of this harvest of one of my favorites inkers~

Chris~
EXCELLENT penning, my friend~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*The sound of a kiss is not as strong as that of a cannon, but it's echo endures much longer*~
Email - noles1@totcon.com

Artic Wind
Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 8080
Realm of Supernatural
13 posted 2007-10-27 05:42 PM


thank you for a this sharing
good write

ARCTIC WIND

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