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Open Poetry #33
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Professor Gloom
Member Elite
since 2000-07-23
Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2004-07-23 10:31 PM


As I am reading, thoughts feeding,
Images springing in my mind,
Wildness in phobic breeding
With not soothing to find.
So I go walking, slow stalking,
Leaving pain in foot falls
As insanity fades its talking
And fear no longer calls.
Then constant turning, to returning
Steps that are mine alone
Eases not cranium burning
When I can not now atone.
As ink’s sprawling words crawling
Returns the entrapment
That can not escapable the calling
Of the commitment.

Gloom


© Copyright 2004 Aszard Drazlom - All Rights Reserved
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
1 posted 2004-07-23 10:41 PM


How well understood and appreciated.  I liked the rhymic structure of this a bunch, Gandolf!   ......jo
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

2 posted 2004-07-23 10:42 PM


Lately I've been re-tracing steps in my own life, as though I could find a loophole that would re-write the present, yanno?

No one writes the gloom of introspection such as you...damned lonely place it is at times, too.

I can't say that I "enjoyed", but I like to think, that at the least, I understood.

thanks gloom

You write it perfectly.


Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
3 posted 2004-07-23 11:18 PM


Exceptional write to ponder.
enjoyed this, Chris

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
4 posted 2004-07-25 11:50 PM


Professor,
   Thought provoking write.  Each time I read it, I see more and understand less. Stirring, Sir.  
              miscellanea

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-07-26 08:22 AM


"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Copperbell
Senior Member
since 2003-11-08
Posts 956

6 posted 2004-07-27 09:48 AM


my friend calls this the texture in life, much enjoyed your poem
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

7 posted 2004-07-27 09:50 AM


tremendous and powerfully enriching

Steps that are mine alone
Eases not cranium burning
When I can not now atone.
As ink’s sprawling words crawling


yes, and all that is YOU, even the bad steps, makes for a perfect mix of someone very talented and perfect, in the inperfect moments.


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