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Open Poetry #33
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Sunday Mass
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Sunday Mass |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I dropped half of what I had forgotten into the collection box and walked away from the dust it stirred as it hit hard bottom with a clank to make greedy eyes water or stolen hearts cringe But stopped for the black robed padre who asked me "have you prayed?" and I thought to myself before my voice cracked an answer "I have prayed sir," "For forgetfulness and for the glisten of my tears to blind me." turned with bowed head to walk away when he spoke again "Wise my son, to tithe." "But remember always some part of what it was to love and be loved, to hold and be held." I nodded in rhythm to the shuffle of soul on well worn stone and thought again of you and how on mornings Sunday we lay side by side after our own worship services |
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| © Copyright 2004 Cpat Hair - All Rights Reserved | |||
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Ron, this was beyond fantastic....it was so touching and real. Bravo!  ....jo |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Everwise both times... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I dropped half of what I had forgotten -------------------------------------- "I have prayed sir," "For forgetfulness and for the glisten of my tears to blind me." ------------------------------ "Wise my son, to tithe." "But remember always some part of what it was to love and be loved, to hold and be held." I nodded in rhythm to the shuffle of soul on well worn stone and thought again of you and how on mornings Sunday we lay side by side after our own worship services ==================================== I swear you are amazing...like a poetic juke box... the hits just keep coming... a turn of phrase thrown your way and you turn it into a vignette verse, carving it into time. "For forgetfulness and for the glisten of my tears to blind me." damn.............. I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding. |
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Susan Caldwell Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348Florida |
 miss you always!!Wonderful and ah so sad. "cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind" |
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Patricia Member Elite
since 2003-04-06
Posts 2160Missouri |
Ron...indeed a sad write, but written so well. Goodness, I have missed reading your words. Patricia |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
enjoyed the afternoon service  |
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Duncan Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455 |
""Wise my son, to tithe." "But remember always some part of what it was to love and be loved, to hold and be held." I nodded in rhythm to the shuffle of soul on well worn stone and thought again of you and how on mornings Sunday we lay side by side after our own worship services" When you write like this??? Well, I wonder why the hell your name's not on a book jacket. A particularly fine write bud...  |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
Excellent write Captain... Excellent indeed. Hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
thanks all.. you are fare too kind with your words when it comes to my rambles and scribblings here... sometimes it is a balancing act you know..lol... enchantress illustrated that quite well the other day.. defy gravity and never keep all your eggs in one basket... we write the inane at times..and at times we the inane write... I fall into the last category.. though from time to time..the words make some sense and hold some form... hugs all... and thanks for the replies.. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Ron The good poem, like a sermon, touches the heart of any matter. That is what you're so good at. |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
'beyond fantastic' is right...... am speechless |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
in rhythm to the shuffle of soul on well worn stone ==================================== damn......... again.  |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
can I just follow Janet Marie around type, "YEAH, what she said!" grin sure I can, I just did!  but you know I loved this one...and I say it again, "yer lovely" |
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Nightshade
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962just out of reach |
Thankyou Cpat. sir for this keeper! Wonderful write. How I wish I could write half this well. hugs, Chris Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale. |
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muted
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving |
oh my hmmm WOW |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Enjoyed reading you in this, Ron. Touching write, ~tier |
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wranx Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689Moved from a shack to a barn |
"I have prayed sir," "For forgetfulness and for the glisten of my tears to blind me." Ain't we all brother, aint we all? Damned nice |
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scorpio Member Ascendant
since 2002-10-02
Posts 5178right...there |
Ron, you create with words the images an artist paints. A truly inspired write. believe in what your heart feels... |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
I agree with scorpio to some degree, but I think your painting is "more complete" with sound effects and other sensory input. The way you space and phrase things with the rhythm is perfection in itself, at least to me (but I'm certainly not a poetic scholar, just one who enjoys) I am very,very appreciative of visual art, but I'm beginning to think poetry like this is even more conducive to involving a person at a deeper level than the brush. As always, much enjoyed. misc'e |
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