navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #33 » My Time in a Bottle
Open Poetry #33
Post A Reply Post New Topic My Time in a Bottle Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296


0 posted 2004-07-23 10:14 AM


The eyes of sun wide open
Where you and I began
Your summer black hair
Pealing back, exposing growth now and then

Everything about the love from a woman
Bridges, like determined words in armor
Providing sustenance for an entire army

Like a river meandering downstream…
Slow moving water interweaves and turns
Coming to a place in the soft pool of change

Do you see how slightly lips parted?
Touched your forehead? Your weakened knees
Submissive, forgetting all about any grocery list

Your tenderness embedded in the nap of my neck?
Where lengths of arms became nostalgic
With imperfection weaving options
Learning to listen inside for rose colored fertility
And the imminence of our secret flight
Yearning for the food of travel

You taught me to count the mileage markers along the turnpike
To understand their compass
Driving all the way across the ocean and bay
One on each side of us…like something real, wild and ready

You began my transformation, coaxing me back home
Trying out recipes we gathered over the last twenty years
We were a city that melted into 3-D silence
Straying from all the main roads
Sailing the seas worth every sea leg of discomfort
Adopted by the graffiti of time in our memory

Ohhhh, your voice still sings to me from the back lot
Happiness suspended my sky, allowing me not time to
Remember maelstroms, which were censured with
Rarified beauty like the silver blue spray of incoming breakers
Both in innocence and wilderness, we had put our desire
To music and danced all the way through it
Illuminated in agreement, hormonal frenzy of even minds
Intimacy…where the sea rose up beneath us and the moon
Shone like a smooth nuptial aisle, like some prophecy
Where my soul turned proud…fresh born and full of moxie

Now my porch is imbalanced and while looking at the moon
Alone, trying to keep from falling off
I remember the Gulf Stream which clenched my soul
The night you left me, knocking at your door
I was sore ashamed for loving you that much
Leaving the shell of my heart in the memory of a necklace
Ironic, the talisman of bad luck
Now….I scan the passersby
Wishing sometimes, she were me, as I brew coffee for one
pretending I knew all along, I wasn't his true north


© Copyright 2004 Lee J. - All Rights Reserved
JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
1 posted 2004-07-23 10:23 AM


“Now….I scan the passersby
Wishing sometimes, she were me, as I brew coffee for one
pretending I knew all along, I wasn't his true north”

Such deep, deep emotions in this write.  Held my breath throughout the whole read.
Reads like a novel.  Beautiful write Lee J.

JL


jellybeans
Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298

2 posted 2004-07-23 10:30 AM


wow, I guess I have never read you before, and I have been missing out....this is powerful and wonderfully crafted.....am printing to read again
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
3 posted 2004-07-23 02:36 PM


LeeJ

As always, deeply thoughtful and beautifully written wisdoms of life pages...so enjoyed!  

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-07-25 01:30 AM


"I was sore ashamed for loving you that much
Leaving the shell of my heart in the memory of a necklace
Ironic, the talisman of bad luck
Now….I scan the passersby
Wishing sometimes, she were me, as I brew coffee for one
pretending I knew all along, I wasn't his true north"

LeeJ, I just don't know what to say.  This poem was overwhelming, and musical.  I don't think you should ever be ashamed of loving someone that much....; or perhaps, I should say, we have to forgive ourselves for that.....love is the teacher, I think, so, as hard as it is sometimes, I think we should have a certain gratitude.  But then, having read so many of your poems, I think that you do have that.... ....jo

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
5 posted 2004-07-25 01:40 AM


and you have a knack of placing us in that particular bottle to float musically through those places and emotions.  Very much enjoyed, Lee J.  
   I like what's been happening to your writing; it seems easier to read (perhaps organized a little differently?)  But yet it retains that wonderful gift of traveling imagery.  
              misc'e

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-07-25 03:45 AM


amazing
ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2004-07-25 09:21 AM


LeeJ
I wish Jim Croce could read this, he knew about this theme well...enjoyed this poem, even through its saddness...

-------ice
><>

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
8 posted 2004-07-25 09:27 AM


LeeJ
Excellent write, good morning sweet.

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
9 posted 2004-07-25 09:36 AM


Lee, to be able to love with such depth and abandon as you have done, shows just how deep and loving your soul truly is. I am so moved by this out-pouring of love and all the emotions and memories that you have so eloquently described, that I deem this poem a definite

I felt the pulse of this write into my very soul, Lee Poetessa With The Loving Heart.

Warm, compassionate hugs,
Linda


Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
10 posted 2004-07-25 11:35 AM


You put one of life's truths and hardships
into such a beautiful speaking of your
heart to our own.  This poem says so much,
so beautifully.  

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
11 posted 2004-07-25 10:30 PM


Wishing sometimes, she were me, as I brew coffee for one
pretending I knew all along, I wasn't his true north

at the time you were and who knows more than the moment anyhow? you are blessed you found it if even for a moment, as you so joyously expressed its touch upon you

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
12 posted 2004-07-25 11:26 PM


Certainly powerful, as powerful as the emotions that I understood so well.
Magnificent write LeeJ...
So many blessings still in the harvest.
TD

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
13 posted 2004-07-26 08:40 AM


snapshot shotglass
memories by the gulp
with bitter sweet

and a lick of the skin
to see if it is my hand
holding the glass

kewl stuff included ms
enjoyed the texture of this
pressed against the glass

Bonnie j
Senior Member
since 2003-06-27
Posts 1588
Ohio
14 posted 2004-07-26 09:22 AM


Ah! such beauty you have written in these lines. One should never regret loving someone so deeply.
BonBon Philosophy; Put your love in a bottle and throw it out to sea. And in time it will come back to thee thrice. This love that returns by way of the sea will be in a
touch, a smile and a soft spoken word.
Hugs BonBon

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #33 » My Time in a Bottle

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary