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Open Poetry #33
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BluesSerenade
Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549
By the Seaside

0 posted 2004-07-23 02:50 AM



~*~

Divorce is such a nasty business
there are no winners or unsung heroes,
but he's trying his best to talk himself into it
and almost had me buying his lines.

Lord, how he's played me,
and keeps playing me for a fool.
Willing me to cave in
tossing back all the guilt
and a dose of scare tactics
that serve to bring out the worst in me.

Applying more pressure
as if I were still there,
under his thumb
and I keep telling myself
I'm bigger than he is,
I'll work my way through this
but I'm dying inside.

I'm getting too close,
hanging on by a thread
ready to let go
and lose my mind all together.
But that's no excuse
for my behavior of late
and saying I'm sorry,
won't make it all go away.

~I know that much to be true~


© Copyright 2004 BluesSerenade - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
1 posted 2004-07-23 02:56 AM


Bluesy gal...I'm praying and sending heart hugs
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2004-07-23 02:57 AM


Oh, Bluesy, I had no idea it was this bad.  So sorry to hear it.  This "nasty business" does leave us with scars (I know from experience)..... but you will be okay.... in the end, you will be better, I believe this!  Hang on, sweet lady.   x 1,000 ......jo
nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
3 posted 2004-07-23 07:04 AM


Lori, that is why I never left...and  if that is what he wanted...then he could go as he pleased. When it is all over, if I can hold my own, he will be able to be with whomever, whenever, wherever and the only thing changed in my life will be my heart, and his leaving...and  of course, starting a career over again.

I have learned in my years from watching other marriages fail...and although I would not have asked for it to be this way, (after so many years)I stood/stand my ground.

hugs and love
M

* it is hard at first Lori, then like anything else gets easier... hold your head up high...stay strong



Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
4 posted 2004-07-23 09:27 AM


ms bluezy
everything you ever did
was tough at first
but you wore through it
and time closed it up behind

one step at a time
keep your power hon

D

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2004-07-23 09:34 AM


BluesSerenade
That is a blue song but a good write.

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
6 posted 2004-07-23 09:39 AM


Good morning, Bluesy,

   Yesterday I was trying to figure out how to write a poem about how to divorce my skin rather than divorcing my sweet hubby. For me, divorcing what's under my skin might be easier!   I haven't quite figured that one out, and now, I read about your dilemma.  I'm sorry to hear of the pain you must be going through!  Take care, Sweetie.  I'll send up a few prayers...

           misc'e                

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
7 posted 2004-07-23 10:06 AM


dear girlfriend; it will get better with time
take care of yourself ; sending out hugs to you

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2004-07-23 10:19 AM


This is a tough situation.  As you have express here, no one really wins.  Very painful experience.  God Bless.

JL

Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
9 posted 2004-07-23 10:42 AM


Two subjects here, and you're right on each. Divorce is an ugly thing, no way to make it anything else....it's "essence of lawyer" poured over something that started in love -- immiscible opposites.

....and sorry is, as sorry does. It's the doing that makes all the difference, understand?

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

10 posted 2004-07-23 10:54 AM


I'm getting too close,
hanging on by a thread
ready to let go
and lose my mind all together.
But that's no excuse
for my behavior of late
and saying I'm sorry,
won't make it all go away.


You know what I find so absolutely heartbreaking about divorce...here is this person, whom you shared your most intimate feelings, fears, joys, the most secret places of your soul, who now all of a sudden turns on you and becomes a person you never knew or saw??????? That's why I walked away with nothing, cause I felt like in the end, I still had something...without confrontation, name calling, to me, the silence was more important then any material thing...I took nothing but me...and never regreted it. I won't play that game...

God bless and wishing you lots of sunny skies to come your way and lift you from any senseless disgrace or lack of confidence.  


Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
11 posted 2004-07-23 01:16 PM


Ah, dear Bluesybeauty, I've been there my friend. It is nasty business ... but it must be done, and then "here comes the sun na na nana!"  hugs, Chris

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
12 posted 2004-07-23 01:58 PM


Dear Bluesy, I'm so sorry that you are going through such a trying time and the fact that many of us have been there and survived doesn't help much but there is life after divorce.  It may not be anything like you had before and will certainly require a lot of adjustment but you'll make it through.  Sometimes change happens whether we like it or not and I do believe that change has benefits in the long run - the long run to what is the question though but I guess we'll find out soon enough.  Be strong and sure of what you want. Take care.  
  

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

13 posted 2004-07-23 11:00 PM


I'm bigger than he is,
I'll work my way through this
==============================


you are bigger than he is...and stronger than you know...hes threatened by that and so resorts to the guilt and so on...dont let him take anything else from you girlie.
heart hugs.

I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.

~Fluent~
John O'Donohue

ice
Member Elite
since 2003-05-17
Posts 3404
Pennsylvania
14 posted 2004-07-25 12:07 PM


Blusey
Ahhh! yes as sayings go, there are no winners in wars of love, or wars of armed belligerents...I hope that writing this poem has helped in your healing progress..

--------ice
  ><>


Magnus
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
15 posted 2004-07-25 12:13 PM


An old adage,  for every finger you point
at another...there are three pointing at
you.  I think this holds true for him, his
behavior.  Gutless, incapable of acknowledging
his own mistakes which have been part of the
catalyst for where you both are.  

Please know I support you,  I feel you have
the courage....and you are so deserving of
peace in your life...may it come soon.

suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
16 posted 2004-07-29 03:16 PM


Divorce is such a nasty business
there are no winners or unsung heroes,

How painfully true... Even amicable ones aren't easy... and keeping things amicable is a task Solomon himself would avoid! *S*

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