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Open Poetry #33
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Déjà Vu
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Déjà Vu |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana 
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I wish I’d let her drown! All the fury and heartache Of a slender third-grader who’s Already had too many lessons Featuring life’s unfairness Reverberates in the air Forty years later Only one still hears And feels the sting of sweat Mingling with blood, Burning stripes on legs Too exhausted to run From an unearned rage And shudders with the knowing Such words will be dinner And breakfast and… It was, of course, a lie. For in saving my sister I rescued my sanity A pond taking her Would have taken The only rope I had to hold. I no longer fear peach switches And the tightness of my jeans Reminds me how well I feed Those early deprivations But I still ache to scream When undeserved punishment Is my allotment Only a heart bleeds now And the hunger that gnaws Is for withheld words And vaporized trust There are no visible wounds But once again Drowning is a distinct possibility Survival is questionable. |
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| © Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved | |||
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
But I still ache to scream When undeserved punishment Is my allotment Only a heart bleeds now And the hunger that gnaws Is for withheld words And vaporized trust There are no visible wounds In my youth, as one of 5, I felt this way... and still today, I wonder why and figure maybe I am getting my "just" reward in life... to never feel appreciated or worthy, but I rarely make it known to others. M |
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Earth Angel Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215Realms of Light |
My gawd, that's raw! I felt the flaying of my skin and the twisting of my soul! You reached in and grabbed my solar plexus! Can you ever write with passion ~ and spill your heart out onto the page... Love you, EA |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Oh...suthern... this came from VERY deep.... |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
M: I know those feelings all too well... even as I can accept... intellectually at least... that being unloved doesn't mean being undeserving of love. *S* Thank you for reading... perhaps this should have stayed unknown, too... *S* EA: I know it's raw... In fact, I've decided many times not to post it... but it keeps floating to the top of my consciousness. *S* So you'll know... this spilled heart loves you, lady. *S* Sunshine: Yes... it did. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
But I still ache to scream When undeserved punishment Is my allotment ============================ and so you have...by muse and pen...by the power of your words....by the gift of your depth in expression. I am glad you decided to post this deeply poignant write...as I told you, I feel its one of your best and should be in your collection here in this place we purge, share and hopefully heal. Think of it as poetically drowning those demons in the blue.   |
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JL Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128Texas, USA |
Such deep emotions felt here. Well written. JL  |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
this hurts my heart  |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
this comes from behind the place where tears are dammed up...mine is leaking... powerfully written love you lady |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
Only a heart bleeds now And the hunger that gnaws Is for withheld words And vaporized trust There are no visible wounds But once again Drowning is a distinct possibility Survival is questionable. gripping and powerfully articulated write....the feelings in this are extremely felt...God bless you |
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Ceinwyn Member Elite
since 2000-07-09
Posts 2175VA |
You're real..again that's rare...this aches...but in a graceful manner... If at first you don't succeed destroy all the evidence that you tried. |
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Enchantress Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113Canada eh. |
My word..this hurts to read.. it comes from so deep inside of you.. the child still crying out. Powerfully written..excellent! I'm pleased and proud you decided to share with us. Heart hugs~ ~Somewhere in my heart I'm always |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
JM: I think they're wearing life vests. *S* Thank you so much for accepting even the parts of me with warts... this poem included. *S* JL: Thank you very much for reading! *S* PS: Mine, too. *S* jellybeans: Yes... it does... and yes... they are. *S* Love you, my friend... THANKS is never nearly enough!!! Lee: Thank you so much, kind lady! *S* Ceinwyn: Your response touches me deeply... I thank you so very much! *S* Enchantress: I still have urges to hide it away... and crawl in with it. *S* Thank you for accepting it... and me! *S* |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
suthern "Only a heart bleeds now And the hunger that gnaws Is for withheld words And vaporized trust There are no visible wounds" Some times those invisible wounds hurt more then the other kind. So very well expressed, the pain of both.  |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
suthern, I never can think of appropriate words with which to respond. Just know how touching this is to me. It's one of my favorites of yours, too, Sweet One. Take care. misc'e |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Suthern beloved one, OH MY this has to be the most outstanding piece of writing, how amazing is the imagery and the sheer power of words in this. I swear I can feel the pain dripping through each line. Hear the heart weeping, truly exceptional work from you beloved one Never, ever do you fail to hit the mark, but in this you’ve scored a bulls eye. Outstanding, really utterly outstanding as always Mushy   Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds |
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yv Senior Member
since 2003-05-30
Posts 574 |
In a word...WOW! That was so personally emotional. I felt every. Single. Word. As if each one belonged to me. I loved it, needless to say. Yv-Goddess of Her Domain. Symbol of Truth Passion Pain. Let Her Smile Rain on the Hearts of the Innocent. |
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GG Member Elite
since 2002-12-03
Posts 3532Lost in thought |
Ah this comes so deep and raw that it carries a pulse and bleeds still, on the page. I'm glad you decided to share it though... it's a part of your heart, and though aching, it is beautiful. And amazing... don't know how you did this... Always, Alyssa Poems are made by fools like me, |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
Only a heart bleeds now And the hunger that gnaws Is for withheld words And vaporized trust There are no visible wounds This is so dead-on real and so strong....makes me ache for you. Sometimes you push back the boundaries of what words can do. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Oh, suthern.........this story is deja vu for me, a playback of two memories. Hang in there, sweet one.........*hugs*......jo |
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*Belabebeautiful*
since 2003-01-03
Posts 696washington, USA |
Drowning is a distinct possibility Survival is questionable. Beautiful... ~Live and Laugh~ Don't look to me for perfection for I will surely let you down. |
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Toerag Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622Ala bam a |
I'm not sure how I missed this one...but it's sure enough deep.... |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
When I grow up I want to be a poetess just like suthern. Lady! When I can draw my hurt from the well of sorrow the way you do and wrench people from their seats with it's power, I will know I have arrived in the place when misery becomes magic.Did I mention this is not only raw it's compelling, gut wrenching and utterly wonderful? Here in the midst of my lonely abyss, a single joy I find...your presence in my mind. Unknown |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
suthern, I'm glad this came up again. It's truly a gift to those who read it, but then again, you are the gift; a person with such honest reflections. Take care, suthern. hugs, misc'e |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Applause her in PA for a magnificent piece of poetry and a lesson hard learned |
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elfine Junior Member
since 2004-06-08
Posts 35traveling |
suthern ... you make me want to reach the little girl and shower loving words on her ...  thank you for sharing this with us! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Thank you all so very much... your kind responses are greatly appreciated. *S* miscellanea: When someone visits once, I am honored and grateful... On those occasions when someone returns, I am touched beyond measure... I thank you. *S* |
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Contabo Member
since 2001-11-21
Posts 159 |
I was drawn by a post with so many responses. I am glad I was drawn. Contabo |
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