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Open Poetry #33
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muted
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since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving

0 posted 2004-07-20 01:37 PM



Mercy shown through a keyhole
a scene of ballerina dancing.
Tapping of her bruised feet
bleeding out the sound of my
hurried heartbeat.
Kinetic poetry,
suffering for beauty and the mystery of art.
How it touched me deeper
than the usual transparency
of tear stained false promise smiles…
To breathe the air she filled with music
perfumed of life and death
and the slow concerto
~metronome~
of moments systematically passing.
Knowing each turn of music box key
is my only instrument in this symphony…
~the glass slipper just wasn’t meant for me~
`
`
`
i got a glimpse of inspiration from Sunshine's prose titled "Mother's Wallflower"  


© Copyright 2004 Dawn van Krieken-Smith - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
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since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2004-07-20 01:40 PM


Wish you could have seen my face when I saw your title...

geez....

I've got to go locate some humble...
be back soon...

Cpat Hair
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Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

2 posted 2004-07-20 01:42 PM


very nicely done my friend.. very nice indeed
Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-07-20 01:43 PM


How it touched me deeper
than the usual transparency
of tear stained false promise smiles…
To breathe the air she filled with music
perfumed of life and death
and the slow concerto

Your muse didn't abandon you dear girl...
she was waiting for the perfect moment..

she found it.
Hugs.  What a treasure you have penned.

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
4 posted 2004-07-20 01:46 PM


Breathtaking...simply beautiful!!
~Smiles & Hugs, Nancy~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-07-20 01:54 PM


Dawn, this was lovely!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

MovesInSilence
Member
since 2004-03-21
Posts 111
Perth, Australia
6 posted 2004-07-22 11:42 PM


I liked this one buddy

It's not the blindfold that blinds you,
it's the person that puts it there.

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2004-07-22 11:53 PM


Muted, I have missed reading you for a few days.  This was an elegantly written poem and I remember Sunshine's poem so well because I identified with it.  You are a wonderful poetess; and your words, too, are music.   .....jo
wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
8 posted 2004-07-23 10:31 AM


Ok, now I forgot what I had written. (it would seem that I hadn't correctly filled in all the required fields)

I think it went something like this....

"Barefoot would be the proper way to walk in this"

And, "You have no need for conformity"

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