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Open Poetry #33
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SEA
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with you

0 posted 2004-07-16 01:39 PM





She doesn’t share with you
broken hearted echoes
instead captures them
like fireflies....
To set them free
another night
in silent screams
because
in dreams
you love her
because
in mornings
after....
your kiss lingers
and your voice
......echoes......


~SEA~


© Copyright 2004 S.E. A - All Rights Reserved
Gentle Spirit
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since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

1 posted 2004-07-16 01:40 PM


because
in mornings
after....
your kiss lingers
and your voice
......echoes......


very very cool lines SEA, so good to again read your poetry...
next time? please don't make us wait so long ok? HUGS

iliana
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since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
2 posted 2004-07-16 01:41 PM


Beautiful, Susan!  Really, really lovely!
Cpat Hair
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3 posted 2004-07-16 01:42 PM


I hope your collection of broken hearted echos is small.. and the lights you see dancing are in his eyes..and yours..

you always show heart my friend..and you always touch with your words.

Seymour Tabin
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since 1999-07-07
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Tamarac Fla
4 posted 2004-07-16 01:46 PM


SEA
A delight to read.

LeeJ
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since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

5 posted 2004-07-16 02:20 PM


because
in dreams
you love her
because
in mornings
after....
your kiss lingers
and your voice
......echoes......


You are the princess of the sea....weaving pink sands out of shells,

Plesant read

Krawdad
Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597

6 posted 2004-07-16 02:35 PM


Very interesting.
Was not expecting this, from your title.
Is your reference to fireflies merely that of a curious child?
Now I wonder, did you intend to imply the parallel of "breaking the fireflies' hearts" by capturing them.  Their signalling is, as you must know, all about attracting a mate, which is spoiled when they are captured.
Your line "because in mornings after" might also be written more poignantly as "because in mournings after".

Enjoyed.

bslicker
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state of mind
7 posted 2004-07-16 02:51 PM


Wonderful write SEA

bernie

A smile a day keeps the world in smile's.
Bernie Slicker

JL
Member Ascendant
since 2004-04-01
Posts 6128
Texas, USA
8 posted 2004-07-16 02:55 PM


Oooooh, yeah.  I like this one.  Very nice write.

JL



SEA
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with you
9 posted 2004-07-16 02:57 PM


Krawdad...

cool questions that I wasn't expecting...
I will try to clear it up a bit...
it's about dreaming of someone you love, but can't be with...and the echoes of those dreams (the broken hearted echoes) are what she captures and later sets free, (in slient screams) because the emotions are ones she can't openly share, with the person she dreams of. And in those dreams, that is where he loves her back...and in the dreams, he kisses her and talks to her, and when she wakes up, they stay with her...the sound of his voice, the feel of his kiss...(they echo through her waking day)
that's all it was about
I hope that makes any kind of sense??

thanks for the questions,
and to the others, thank you for the replies

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
10 posted 2004-07-16 03:05 PM


She doesn’t share with you
broken hearted echoes
instead captures them
like fireflies....

Excellent simile!  Enjoyed this a lot.
           misc'e

Enchantress
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since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
11 posted 2004-07-16 05:03 PM


Beautiful Susan..very much enjoyed!
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
12 posted 2004-07-16 07:18 PM


lovely, especially that last stanza!

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Corinne
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since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
13 posted 2004-07-16 07:22 PM


Something very wisp-like about this, like trying to capture fire-flies in a jar.

lovely!


Corinne

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

14 posted 2004-07-16 11:05 PM


instead captures them
like fireflies....
To set them free
another night
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
in dreams
you love her
because
in mornings
after....
your kiss lingers
and your voice
......echoes......


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


ooooooh I like this style on you...
it suits your expression well...love the analogy and imagery...and your explanation made perfect moth sense.

No one does aches and echos like you.

I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.

~Fluent~
John O'Donohue

JamesMichael
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since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
15 posted 2004-07-17 12:28 PM


Like this...James
BluesSerenade
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since 2001-10-23
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By the Seaside
16 posted 2004-07-17 02:26 AM


Sometimes our dreams set the perfect stage for love,
and when they do, don't you just want to stay there forever!!!!

Oh SEA, it's so good to read you.

passing shadows
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since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
17 posted 2004-07-17 04:13 AM


nice to read you again
Marge Tindal
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Florida's Foreverly Shores
18 posted 2004-07-17 03:41 PM


SEA~
What a lovely perception ... a beauty for sure~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

19 posted 2004-07-17 04:05 PM


"because
in dreams
you love her
because
in mornings
after....
your kiss lingers
and your voice
......echoes......"


Once again, Susan...you paint the softest pictures.  


Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
20 posted 2004-07-17 05:05 PM


Sparks to cherish ... in dreams, like fireflies.
Really beautiful!
Love, Margherita

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
21 posted 2004-07-17 05:28 PM


Hey there little one...
which treasure chest
did you pluck this one from?


Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
22 posted 2004-07-17 08:29 PM


"because
in dreams
you love her"


hmmmmm...now that is beautiful, and so are you.

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

Juju
Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429
In your dreams
23 posted 2004-07-17 09:34 PM


It is very interesting.

Juju

devinechild22
Senior Member
since 2002-08-28
Posts 571

24 posted 2004-07-17 09:45 PM


Lovely.
                 *Allison*

~~~***~~~Come away with me, Wendy. Come away to Neverland~~~***~~~

PKreturns
Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362
New Orleans, LA
25 posted 2004-07-19 07:57 AM


I agree with everyone....very beautiful writing SEA.
vandana
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26 posted 2004-07-19 10:57 AM


lovely,my friend
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