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Open Poetry #33
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Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast

0 posted 2004-07-16 07:09 AM



you said you were in the clouds
but they were dark socks
with the wet cling glue on

but I made them dry enough
to fall away from your eyes
sometimes if only for awhile

I brought you raspberries
and you said it hurt a bit
that way, but you wanted pain now

you said the comfort was boring
even though you always wanted older things
for your little girl to play with

cause they were used a bit
and knew how to fit the hand
it was time to make her ache again

I said that was a contradiction
you said don't argue just do it
and that you would love me for it

just sometime if only for awhile
_____________

Dark

© Copyright 2004 ©Dark 2k - All Rights Reserved
LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

1 posted 2004-07-16 07:16 AM


whewww, words cannot express the extreme feelings you grip the reader with.

Another magnificant write...I do so enjoy reading you...thank you for writing and sharing your heart.

Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
2 posted 2004-07-16 07:21 AM


Ms LeeJ..thanks for your eyes ms...and likewise I admire your pen  D
Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

3 posted 2004-07-16 08:57 AM


you said don't argue just do it
and that you would love me for it

Dark, sometimes it just doesn't pay to argue! *w* Love your pen my friend. Hugs.

SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
4 posted 2004-07-16 09:30 AM


"it was time to make her ache again"


SIGH

and you do it sooooo well

Paper Tiger
Member
since 2003-09-28
Posts 77

5 posted 2004-07-16 09:49 AM


Brilliant is the only word I can think of right now.

In my eyes, I'm not lazy.  In your eyes, I'm not worth it.

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
6 posted 2004-07-16 09:53 AM


*SIGH SIGH*
doubling the sighs

Kahlil
Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881

7 posted 2004-07-16 09:56 AM


How could she not love you
for all of that
for more than awhile?
~K~

rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
8 posted 2004-07-16 10:41 AM


I hope the while is forever briar, ever plentiful of your raspberry gifts.

Love,
Reg

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
9 posted 2004-07-16 10:52 AM


another one of yours has left me stirred, but with inability to state the feeling;  I believe "struck" or "frozen in tracks" describes my reaction.  Enjoyed.
           misc'e

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2004-07-16 11:20 AM


DarkStranger~
The title bid me 'come in' ... and I knew the read would be laced with poignant ink .. it was and just wanting to say that you do the penning SO WELL~
Thank you for this~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California
11 posted 2004-07-16 12:41 PM


DS

"just sometime if only for awhile"

Yes!  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
12 posted 2004-07-16 05:08 PM


Huge *SIGH* here D.
Much enjoyed the feelings.
Hugs~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
13 posted 2004-07-16 05:14 PM



Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
14 posted 2004-07-16 06:54 PM


Always evocative, you.


Corinne

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
15 posted 2004-07-16 07:31 PM


This speaks of deep intimacy to me.  Stirring.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

16 posted 2004-07-16 11:09 PM


cause they were used a bit
and knew how to fit the hand
it was time to make her ache again
=============================


ya had me from the title on...

*raising glass of raspberry tea*

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
17 posted 2004-07-17 12:22 PM


Very interesting writing style!
Dark Stranger
Member Patricius
since 2001-03-19
Posts 13631
West Coast
18 posted 2004-07-17 09:11 AM


Ms GS.....sounds like me...the piece maker..or is it peace maker..hmmm will have to get the dictionary out..(grin) thanks hon

_____________

Ms Sea......your sighs are such a turn on, Thanks to you


_______________

Paper T, Thanks is the only word I can find to repay you for that review, well and Thaks Again.

___________

Midnite......mmmmmmmmmmm two sighs are too much for this ol guy to handle...thanks to you much

____________


MS Kahlil, we love to drink water when
we thirst, but we feel surrounded when
we swim....perhaps that is what love is
...just a moment of thirst when we come up for air?  Thanks for your lovely thoughts


_________

Ms Reg..briars are a man's best friend, they don't bark or poop...they just wrap you up and make you enjoy it.  Thanks for the grin skin smile too.


________

Misc' friend.....paused is good...it is when i see the good parts of the movie...when I can study the expressions on the faces.....it is the best time, thanks you for pausing here

__________

Ms Marge your eyes and your huggy creatures are wonderful blessings to my humble offerings, thanks to you so much

_________

Ms Martie..lil neighbor yessss please just anytime of only for awhile, thanks lady friend


___________

Ms E....thanks for letting your lady enjoy the feelings...you are sweet windows on my word eyes.

___________

Ms Sun....mmmmmmmm you warm me with your orbs of sunshine thanks to you


___________

Ms Corinne..always a treat to see you wiggle a grin at my suggestions...thanks to you


__________

Ms Susan, deep yes, using each other's music
to dull the sound of silence...like a gunshot in a canyon with reverb it sooths (grin) thanks for your eyes


______________

Ms JM, my favorite tools are the ones that were used a bit, worn in, adjusted to comfort...by someone...then I redo them make them new again...experienced with out memories perhaps......thanks for yoru mothy visit


_____________

Iliana, arrigoto for your interesting..


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