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Open Poetry #33
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Impossible Flame
| Open Poetry #33 |
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Impossible Flame |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside 
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~*~ You would not care to stand behind the sun setting in my eyes. There are flecks flying, like unfit pieces of a mosaic transforming colors in camouflage, straight lines, and broken chips worn down to the heart. Fanning an impossible flame storming summer rains humid in the mist, casting sepia shades in the shadows burnt around the edges marked with salt water stains. Spread thin in a cloudy haze skimming the surface lying down low clinging to the sea strung out in the afterglow. Where pearl essence of foam turns the twilight around then slips through my fingers and fades from my vision. Drawing the curtain closed. ~*~ |
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iliana Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434USA |
Bluesy, no I don't think I would want to stand there. But I really liked sitting here and reading this powerful, wonderfully penned poem!  .....jo |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
You paint such a vivid picture, excellent! "A spring shower was cause to run |
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LeeJ Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296 |
stunning...so visual bringing all you've felt close to the readers heart...this was a tremendous read and write. Thank you for sharing. |
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inkedgoddess Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392Ohio |
'drawing the curtain closed' kind of forlorn and beautiful and bluesy too the stuff of a romance novel miss you, hope to hear from you dear blondie  |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
You would not care to stand behind the sun setting in my eyes. There are flecks flying, like unfit pieces of a mosaic transforming colors in camouflage, straight lines, and broken chips worn down to the heart. Fanning an impossible flame storming summer rains humid in the mist, casting sepia shades in the shadows burnt around the edges marked with salt water stains. ================================= WOW GIRL!!!! there are so many cool personifis, metaphors and images in this that Im moth giddy.... like unfit pieces of a mosaic transforming colors in camouflage, straight lines, and broken chips worn down to the heart. wow......... casting sepia shades in the shadows burnt around the edges marked with salt water stains. wow again...... and how cool is this line... Where pearl essence of foam turns the twilight around emotionally powerful write, Lori-girl, as always your expressions are honest and your writing impressive. This is a bittersweet beauty...and a keeper. I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding. |
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Kahlil Senior Member
since 2003-04-12
Posts 1881 |
hmmm, moody Blues...I can feel it... keeping this one... ~K~ |
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WhiteRose Member Elite
since 2002-07-23
Posts 3208somebody's dungeon |
Very nice images. I enjoyed the read of this.  |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Thanks iliana, I've seen better days, that's for sure! Like you, sometimes I would rather not look. EagleOne~ The assorted shades are blowing in a little too close to home, so I suppose it's a good thing that they're starting to fade. Nevertheless, I thank you for taking in the view. *smiling* LeeJ~ Thank you so much for your lovely thoughts. Dear Michele~ and bluesy too? What did you expect??? I'm sorry I've been so out of touch, I owe you a bottle of peroxide. Hugs sweet girlie, girl~ Janet Marie~ Thank for leaving such a warm and caring reply, and even more for all the kindness you show to me. Kahlil~ Moody blues among other things. Since the shoe fit I bought one in every color. Thanks. WhiteRose~ I'm glad you enjoyed my poem, and I thank you for letting me know. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
the moth had to read this one again... bttt |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
good grief girl.... is it any wonder I love your poetry?! this is awesome |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
very nice... but then the words you write always are well done.. |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Lori, you have left me totally at a loss for words and I doubt that to say I love you suffices for a proper response, but I truly do love this.  Is it any wonder I am hooked on your poetry? One word....PUBLISH |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
Janet Marie~ You're the sweetest moth I ever knew, tis true! What's bbbt all about, huh? So many many hugs, and i do thank you, sincerely. SEA~ Likewise, I love yours too, doncha know!!! Thanks so much for reading me. Cpat~ You humble me in the very best way. Gosh, thanks. Donna? It will nevah happen, not evah.....just know I thank you for your high praise, that is the nicest compliment and I feel honored. Hugs to you sweetie. |
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rwood Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793Tennessee |
I love how you stand in the sea of aware. Each line provokes both want, and run away. Love, Reg |
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Snowflake From Hell Senior Member
since 2003-07-10
Posts 777My own little Icey Oblivion |
very enjoyable Victims....aren't we all? |
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Susan Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104walking the surreal |
Each line worth a pause to savor. SusanHappiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you. Joy is a state of mind. |
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Purple Poet On Wheels Member
since 2002-06-21
Posts 145Pittsburgh/Edinboro, PA |
HOLY CRAP Vote Kerry/Edwards |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This is what poetry sounds like. Sandra |
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kayjay Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015Oregon |
Lots of folks picked favorite line So could I chose these to be...well...mine. "casting sepia shades in the shadows burnt around the edges marked with salt water stains." Lots to say here about things that just don't work out. Nice job. Ken Through rubble and trouble and dark of night |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Bluesy, You really know how to set a mood with your imagery, Lady! misc'e |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
This is beyond words! Sauni:)The Only Time I See The Sun Is When I'm Within That Vanilla Breeze.The Only Time I'm One With The Sun Is When He Shelters Me From The Rain. |
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Ratleader
since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass |
I would like to look from exactly there. I think I would be a better person if I were able to do that, and I know I'd be one with clearer view of life than I have most of the time. ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº> ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº> ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº> |
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PKreturns Member
since 2003-07-21
Posts 362New Orleans, LA |
To everyone else's replies: Ditto. lol Seriously, this is great, just like all your poems. |
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