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Open Poetry #33
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Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
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In Your Poetic Mind

0 posted 2004-07-09 08:33 PM


After years of feeling, darkness surround me
& my chest full of shadows
  angels beating their wings   in vases
left to dry  and wither the expected life-

I remember thinking--maybe even saying:

give back to me the memories that lean
against the walls  laughing in bare smoke
a guilty bottle to stain the snow in blue

his laughter fell from orchids
gone, to never return

I am but an empty room
   light no longer fills  
one breath the words struggle
to trace the rivers pattern --
a slight echo of heart released
in tears raining and flooding my soul


When dawn arises and kisses first dew
there will be green stones in all glasses

Rome will fall again

leaving in its  wake

whatever compels you to forget



There's a place I like to hide-open your mind to me-Visualise your dream- Record it in the present tense, I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity

© Copyright 2004 Lauren~ - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
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since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2004-07-09 08:37 PM


nodding here--

this I know:

"Rome will fall again

leaving in its  wake

whatever compels you to forget"

and it's only here, on the blue pages, that I can remember who I am, and how I used to be.

you express it so much more gracefully than I could ever hope...thank you.

Magnus
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South Carolina, USA
2 posted 2004-07-09 08:40 PM


Well said Lauren,  great words within this
piece.  

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
3 posted 2004-07-09 09:04 PM


This aches Lauren..you express it so well.
Hugs pretty lady~

~Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain ~

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
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In Your Poetic Mind
4 posted 2004-07-09 09:51 PM


Karen~

just in a "bad" war....the hurt will go away and eventually so will the pain....I dont like it, but I will be stronger! thank you for understanding....

~

Barry~
thank you dear for taking time to read...I appreciate your thoughts....

~
Nancy~
hugs back pretty lady, thank you for the tenderness you always show! luv ya


There's a place I like to hide-open your mind to me-Visualise your dream- Record it in the present tense, I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
5 posted 2004-07-09 10:25 PM


This does ache, and I admire the manner in which your words are used to convey this.  I'm not sure my words convey my meaning, but I like your style.

  Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Nightshade
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Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
6 posted 2004-07-09 10:52 PM


I've said it before and I will say it again..."only as our Lauren can write em'." Touching and tender - love this! hugs, Chris

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
7 posted 2004-07-10 12:13 PM


Oh, Lauren, it does sound like Rome if Fallng.....so sad and expressive...
EagleOne
Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829
Between a laugh and a tear...
8 posted 2004-07-10 05:28 AM


Striking!

"A spring shower was cause to run
Until you twirled me in the rain" ~ BDC

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

9 posted 2004-07-10 09:28 AM


angels beating their wings   in vases
~~~~~~~~~~


time to let them fly free....

(ykikykik)

I would love to live as a river flows, carried by the surprise of its own unfolding.

~Fluent~
John O'Donohue

Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

10 posted 2004-07-10 01:56 PM


Wow...this is powerful!

Eric

Mistletoe Angel
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Portland, Oregon
11 posted 2004-07-10 03:10 PM




(big hugggsssssss) When in Rome? (sigh) This is very heartfelt and tinged with both beauty and tears, sweet friend, God Bless You, I am so happy to be reading your poetry again, yay, we all love you so much! You have such a beautiful heart, sweet Lauren, thank you for sharing!



May love and light always shine upon you!

Love,
Noah Eaton

"You'll find something that's enough to keep you
But if the bright lights don't receive you
You should turn yourself around and come back home" MB20

RobertB
Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104
Champaign, IL
12 posted 2004-07-10 04:27 PM


this is good.....where have you been hiding?

or did I not look so good??

Robert

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
13 posted 2004-07-10 10:25 PM


Enjoyed...James
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
14 posted 2004-07-11 04:26 AM


you always pack an ending punch
garysgirl
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Florida, USA
15 posted 2004-07-11 11:48 AM


Lauren, even though this is sad, it's such a
beautiful poem. I'm keeping it. Hope it's okay.
Hugs, my friend  
Ethel

Gentle Spirit
Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989

16 posted 2004-07-20 01:08 PM



I am but an empty room
   light no longer fills  
one breath the words struggle
to trace the rivers pattern --
a slight echo of heart released
in tears raining and flooding my soul


Yes you will be stronger L~ and even in your pain...I find strength to borrow in your words also...

You are so beautiful dear

Now, I've had my fix of Lady Lauren for the day...
thank you...

muted
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Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
17 posted 2004-07-20 01:43 PM


i dont know what to say
so please take my silence as a way of saying
just how much i "felt this"

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