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Open Poetry #33
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choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York

0 posted 2004-07-08 11:54 AM




Such heat-withered grass
remains still in this parched field
seemingly lifeless--
Where is there any respite
for a heart scorched by passion?


Such sweet respite,
for hearts scorched by passion
beneath the pines-
on a bed of cool moss
in the stillness of midday.

© Copyright 2004 Paul C. Cooper - All Rights Reserved
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
1 posted 2004-07-08 12:06 PM


choshi,
To each his own, enjoyed the read.

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2004-07-08 12:14 PM


Choshi...you finally made me go look up Waka poetry...

and I'm glad I did.
http://www.shef.ac.uk/japan2001/introduction.shtml

I'll probably find myself reinking my pen,
just to give this a go...

I've so enjoyed yours.

Thank you.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
3 posted 2004-07-08 12:52 PM


you are the master of the form

love this!

muted
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Elite
since 2004-01-15
Posts 2949
Elapsing, Eclipsing, Evolving
4 posted 2004-07-08 01:19 PM


Such heat-withered grass
remains still in this parched field
seemingly lifeless--
Where is there any respite
for a heart scorched by passion?


Such sweet respite,
for hearts scorched by passion
beneath the pines-
on a bed of cool moss
in the stillness of midday.
`````````````````````````````````````

Skyclad embrace
Sheltered only by sunlight
and shadowed needles,
Pine fingertips weaving
a cool bed for passion's rest

inkedgoddess
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-11-19
Posts 7392
Ohio
5 posted 2004-07-08 02:43 PM


look to the sky
soon the showers
of april, stored
beneath the thirsty lawns
resurrect thru august downpours

water my heart, poetryman

kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
6 posted 2004-07-08 02:49 PM


clever! these two waka complement each other very well. i'm reminded of chopsticks~how one can't use the tool without having both in hand
choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
7 posted 2004-07-08 07:46 PM


Hi Sunshine,

Thank you for the link. Glad your interest was perked up....    ~P

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
8 posted 2004-07-08 07:47 PM


you are the master of the form

love this!

Oh my, Dixie, you are sweet....   ~P

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
9 posted 2004-07-08 07:48 PM


Skyclad embrace
Sheltered only by sunlight
and shadowed needles,
Pine fingertips weaving
a cool bed for passion's rest

Oh my Dawn,

Your imagery and passion has me momentarily speechless......   ~P

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
10 posted 2004-07-08 07:49 PM


look to the sky
soon the showers
of april, stored
beneath the thirsty lawns
resurrect thru august downpours

water my heart, poetryman


As you water mine, dear friend....~P

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
11 posted 2004-07-08 07:50 PM


clever! these two waka complement each other very well. i'm reminded of chopsticks~how one can't use the tool without having both in hand


Thank you Kaile....Interesting comparison....~P

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
12 posted 2004-07-08 07:51 PM


Thank you Sy, glad that you enjoyed the read....~P
iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
13 posted 2004-07-09 01:58 AM


Paul -- these are lovely and I adored the way you answered the first with the second!   .....jo
INclan
Senior Member
since 1999-07-20
Posts 1024
Indiana, USA
14 posted 2004-10-20 05:59 PM


Enjoyed!
Huan Yi
Member Ascendant
since 2004-10-12
Posts 6688
Waukegan
15 posted 2004-10-20 07:26 PM



My heart is like a ship upon the seas
I am easily moved
Scolding will not improve me


Anonymous
(Kokinshu 508)

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
16 posted 2004-10-20 08:42 PM


My heart is like a ship upon the seas
I am easily moved
Scolding will not improve me


Nice to be meeting you Huan Yi....Thank you for this anonymous poem from Kokinshu....It is a source of continued inspiration...~P

choshi
Senior Member
since 2004-01-01
Posts 1184
New York
17 posted 2004-10-21 08:43 AM


Dear INclan    glad you enjoyed and recycled this "oldie"

~P

nakdthoughts
Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200
Between the Lines
18 posted 2004-10-21 02:39 PM


nice~

M

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