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Open Poetry #33
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marcel
Senior Member
since 2003-03-02
Posts 660
az, usa

0 posted 2004-07-04 06:19 PM


Still, Still Sweet Shadow

My reflection does not love me
As I greet him in the morning
And bid him goodnight in the eve;
He stares at me with a pitied indifference
But there is hate in his eyes---
So I smile back and whisper sweet memories
Of a past that once reflected through our eyes;
He only laughs and shakes his head
Until I turn away in shame---
But still, gentle hands grasp my shoulders
As he follows in silence and in sorrow,
His one and only friend.

Marcel

© Copyright 2004 keith marcel - All Rights Reserved
Paper Tiger
Member
since 2003-09-28
Posts 77

1 posted 2004-07-04 07:23 PM


Nice poem.

"But still, gentle hands grasp my shoulders
As he follows in silence and in sorrow,
His one and only friend."

Good ending!

We see much, observe little, and perceive less.

ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
2 posted 2004-07-04 07:23 PM


The edge of this tender toned whisper is razor sharp.  A brilliant write...and deeply moving.
TD

Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 2002-08-27
Posts 40215
Realms of Light
3 posted 2004-07-04 07:27 PM


Turn around and give your shadow a great big hug! He deserves one!

&
EA

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-07-04 07:46 PM


Fabulous writing, thoroughly enjoyed reading this.  Happy 4th, Marcel!   ......jo
Nightshade
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-08-31
Posts 13962
just out of reach
5 posted 2004-07-04 08:15 PM


Oh my ...  this is very moving indeed. Excellent. Chris

   Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale.
                                          Hans Christian Anderson

Susan
Member Ascendant
since 2004-03-27
Posts 5104
walking the surreal
6 posted 2004-07-04 08:21 PM


I find this terribly sad, wounding almost.  Excellently expressed.

Susan

Happiness isn't something that happens to you, it's created from within you.  Joy is a state of mind.

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
7 posted 2004-07-04 08:23 PM


Marcel~
You always ... always get to me~
*Huglets*
~*Marge*~

~*When the heart grieves over what it has lost,
the spirit rejoices over what it has left.
- Sufi epigram <))><

noles1@totcon.com

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
8 posted 2004-07-04 08:51 PM


This is the first of yours I've read, as I recall.
The title pulled me in, the read was a fascinating experience...it pulled me back for a "heart read" after the first "mind read."

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Bill Charles
Member Patricius
since 2000-07-11
Posts 10619
highways, & byways, for now
9 posted 2004-07-04 09:58 PM


marcel - nice writing, and a pleasure to read...

BC

miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
10 posted 2004-07-04 10:10 PM


marcel,
  I believe this is the first time I've had the pleasure of reading your poetry.  It's gently sad.  I look forward to reading more.

          miscellanea

Midnitesun
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647
Gaia
11 posted 2004-07-05 02:23 AM


Marcel, what a cool write!
Yes, I do understand this shadow dancer.

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
12 posted 2004-07-05 03:08 AM


you don't do it much, but when you do...WOW!
Tequilia_Sunrise
Senior Member
since 2003-02-19
Posts 612
Lochalsh, Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2004-07-05 03:33 AM


nice
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
14 posted 2004-07-10 10:07 PM


Enjoyed...James
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