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Dark Poetry #1
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word failure
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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word failure |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon 
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the door shut in a final sort of resignation in an aftershock of word failure after the demise of your attempts to bring about an affirmation of my burning need for you but my raging pride refused to yield and you left slowly unwillingly but so coldly tangled with the door's slamming were your words "Just remember I tried" and my mouth still fallen prey to the failure of words was unable to ask you to stay |
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| © Copyright 2000 Heather Walters - All Rights Reserved | |||
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MacBeth Junior Member
since 1999-11-06
Posts 14 |
I wonder how the other party felt having everything thrown back in his face? |
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fractal007 Senior Member
since 2000-06-01
Posts 1958 |
I like your use of very short lines. That seems to illustrate in my mind, a sense of a loss of words, or at least having trouble finding words to say. Good work! |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
I'm with Fractal on this one, you did indeed illustrate the feeling of being unable to get your words and feelings across! Great work. And check Icq I sent you a message.. I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn..... ~Isis~ (Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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X Angel Senior Member
since 1999-11-07
Posts 1521Oregon |
Mac...I am sure he didn't like it much... Frac & Isis...yup I was definitely at a loss! Ever feel some way, but not even know WHY you feel like that??? *sigh*  ~H |
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Joel the wolf Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333Angels Camp |
X Angel, I know what you mean I can write what I want but when it comes to expressing with spoken and to my love it's hard, and a loss of words begain. The feeling is up in the air, not knowing how you got there. your words are short but to the point. Thanks Joel. I howl a mournful song, that echos within my chambered heart, for all to read? nay for all to feel. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
very unique and I loved the title.. Kathleen indy31_99@yahoo.com |
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Portia Member
since 2000-05-18
Posts 157 |
Very well done. It staggers... like the end of a relationship. Excellent. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
a wonderful poem, powerful and sharp. I loved the style as the others said it really compliments the feelings running through the poem. ------------------------ "I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards "Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time". Baltimore Grotto "Libraries gave us power Then work came and made us free What price now for a shallow piece of dignity" Nicky Wire, A design for Life. manic street preachers "Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany Culture, alienation, boredom and despair" "To be nobody-but-yourself-in a world which is doing its best night and day, to make you everybody else - means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting." E.E Cummings. |
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amazon_lover Member
since 2000-04-09
Posts 491Dublin,Ireland |
Hi X Angel I can relate it a lot. Pride comes before a fall. Its difficult to let our ego to go but if we do that life becomes blissful. Sincerely A_L |
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