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brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland

0 posted 2000-06-03 07:02 AM


I have decided to submit a bunch of poems, 4 short ones wrote when I was sour 17 (3 yrs ago). I would to hear your comments about these poems that I rarely show people, except for the top one "nothing." I though they might suit the atmosphere of dark passions.
==========================================
Nothing

Nothing matters; the ghosts will bury us
deep with our sins and insanity.
The critics scratch their coffins in denial.
Here among the new-found pagans I am King.
The blind pin their eyes to the walls
so they may stare in mocking joy
down the blood soaked ravine.
They sharpen up their nails
and try and try, as they might,
to tear the angel infants
from the shackles of this life.
Here I bathe in trembling wombs
safe from the black earth's rain.
==========================================
Pig hostel

My face pressed against glass
with the door firmly at my back.
I seek only shelter from these harsh winds,
but in the bowels of this house
It lurks in greasy sin waiting to feed itself.
It grunts against the blackened wall
from oxygen resisting lungs
expelling squeals in selfish dreams.
Black bulging eyes for all the their size
see only what their stomachs will.
A gleam of thought may flicker now
and then only with a  lust  of money.
Warden Pig unlock this cell
give me a key to freedom.
==========================================
Tarnished

Tarnished diamonds tire our frozen youthful embryos.
Still birth rests in cradles of hollow gods.
Faithful butchers swept into the fire,
Machines dismantled pay the crime of their masters,
Self control and double standards
Shield our sheets of brilliance from our tainted action.

Fraternal keepers cherish the seeds
From the fields of our creation.
The reaper selects and consumer rejects
Letting our unacknowledged kinship in the emptiness.
==========================================
Passengers

Bodies crammed in smoking rooms
Lungs burning, choking on bitter air.
The passengers move on
into the eternal night:
A veil of darkness,
icy sister moon.
Whole and valiant
dreamers walk blind
believers crawl
pagans stagger
and we follow them all.


< !signature-->

 ------------------------
"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany
Culture, alienation, boredom and despair"




[This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 06-05-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 brian madden - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-06-03 12:45 PM


dark and sometimes disturbing images Bri,
but always written with your gift of stark,yet brillant imagery.
Nothing and Passengers are the ones that I likes the most...or perhaps "got" the most LOL
(you know how dense I am)
and Pig Hostel raises many questions in my mind...one of those poems that I read between the lines...
excellent writing as always.
later-genius-gator
jm


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

2 posted 2000-06-03 06:29 PM


I was amazed, I thought you were quite older, your poetry is very deep and this is quite exceptional.
to be honest, some was very difficult to read, very disturbing, almost dark, yes, it was dark, and the images were so real, that means you did a good job. Just difficult for myself to read something of such stark reality. I'm always spending all of my time in the garden!!!!
thank you for posting these...

 Kathleen
indy31_99@yahoo.com


Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
3 posted 2000-06-03 07:58 PM


Well Brian those words certainly aren't nothing.. great work for a 17 year old.  Glad you posted them and showed us a glimpse into your youth!!  

 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
4 posted 2000-06-04 07:53 AM


Thanks Janet, I was big into gothic imagery and pits and darkness but a ray of light burst through the overcast.
"Pig hostel" was about my first student accommodation, I mentioned the place in my prose piece (the place where I had no key)and the landlady loved money.
thanks for your wonderful reply.

Kathleen, old head young shoulders. Alot of my early stuff is kind of crude, I have become a bit more subtle. I thought they would fit in to dark passions. Thanks for your wonderful comments, your words mean a lot, sorry if my snap shots of the abyss disturbed you, I am more interested now in finding the beauty in the darkness, after all that is where beauty shines the most. thanks again.

Thanks Isis, I plan to post a few more short poems together. No one else has really read them, so I might as inflict them on to you guys. lol. thanks for reading and for yourcomments.  

  





 ------------------------
"I've been too honest with myself I should have lied like everybody else"-Richey Edwards

"Take nothing but pictures. Leave nothing but footprints. Kill nothing but time".

Baltimore Grotto

"Libraries gave us power
Then work came and made us free
What price now for a shallow piece of dignity"
Nicky Wire, A design for Life.

manic street preachers
"Rock 'n' roll is our epiphany
Culture, alienation, boredom and despair"

Jana Tovey
Member
since 2000-05-30
Posts 257
USA
5 posted 2000-06-04 09:45 AM


Bodies crammed in smoking rooms
Lungs burning, choking on bitter air.
The passengers move on
into the eternal night:
A veil of darkness,
icy sister moon.
Whole and valiant
dreamers walk blind
believers crawl
pagans stagger
and we follow them all.

This one evokes some images for me...I can see this long assembly line of commuters - dragging themselves in to somewhere they don't want to be, really, but they don't have the sense (or a sense of themselves) to do anything else, but follow the dreamers (who are walking blind - blindly into what? the future, I think!)  

These are good, and they  are interesting - I like the way your poetry  grabs at something and then dissects it.  Thanks for sharing these.

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