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Passions in Poetry

I Suffer In Silence

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Junior Member
since 05-26-2000
[First Post] 12

0 posted 05-26-2000 04:24 PM       View Profile for Cat   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Cat

I suffer in silence
The last few inches that are me
I hide away, and won't let you see
How can I tell what there is on the inside
I don't want to be a burden, instead I hide
My thoughts I keep in a box
A place where no one will look
I keep the key to myself
You could ask where it is
But I won't tell
I'm not sure if you mean what you say
And I suffer in silence
I will never ask you to stay
I feel so alone when I can't even explain
How the betrayal of him awoke my pain
One thing at the time and then it happens
Depression hits me as hard as before
I once thought it would end, but not anymore
The sadness will pass
Like it always does
But just like it disappears
It will come back and be here

I suffer in silence
Because how can I say
The thoughts I have
All night and all day
My silence is deeper and it gets so every time
Can you really not see that I'm not at all fine?
I want you to show that you actually care
I want to say that, but I would never dare
And how can I know
Maybe you would rather be with her than me
I'm not as smart as you I would never be able to see
I just feel like such a burden
To trouble you with all my pain
And the problem with me is that
I'm going to do it over and over again

I suffer in silence
Because a little I might tell
But how can I explain something
I'm not even sure about myself
I feel so sick and I want to cry
But I'm not smart enough or certain about why
It would be so much easier if I weren't around
You could have your life back and get rid of me
It wouldn't have worked anyway, we could never be
Don't tell me tales about that I make you happy
I can't suppress feelings like that, I'm not sappy
I just pretend as if nothing's wrong
And often you don't even notice

I suffer in silence
And I'm unsure. I don't know
If I want you to flatter me with what I call lies
Or ignore me as if I don't exist
It makes me feel worse
But what can I do?
I never want to be a burden ruining it all for you
I just go on as if everything's all right
And I don't always tell you when I cry at night
I find it impossible to tell what it is that hurts
And I can't even say what might make it better
Perhaps I know, but often I don't
And even if I did, I won't
It's easier for me to leave it all up to you
It hurts me more not knowing who to turn to
I want to be appreciated
But how can you make me feel that
It's so difficult, when I'm sad
You say that you like me
And that you're sorry I feel this way
But it doesn't work for me
I do so many awful things, I need to pay
I just want to tell you to shut up
Because I can never believe
I ignore it whenever you say so
And have to focus hard not to go
I don't want to talk to you
But yet again, I don't want to be alone
I need someone with whom I can share my pain
Someone who can dry my tears, which fall as rain
If you have an idea about who I am and what I need
Then you know more than I do
Because I suffer in silence

 ~*~ Can you honestly say you don't love her? ~*~
© Copyright 2000 Cat - All Rights Reserved
Night Chica
Junior Member
since 04-06-2000
Posts 39

1 posted 05-26-2000 05:52 PM       View Profile for Night Chica   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Night Chica

Cat - This poem hit right at home with me.  It describes perfectly what it's like to feel like you have to keep many things to yourself.  

It saddens me to see that people feel like they must keep things to themself.  I have lived a part of my life like you are now and it was a dark period for me.  Trust me when I say that you will never be a burdon to someone if you share your feelings with them.  If they are a friend, or a lover, they will appreciate you opening up to them.

Very well done piece.

~* Megs *~

 I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.

-- Margaret Mitchell
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland

2 posted 05-26-2000 07:09 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Cat, welcome to passions and the dark forum!!
What a wonderful first posting.  We all suffer some things in silence from a lack of guts to share, or embarrassment, or fear etc.
I know the feeling.
BUT......... here in Passions you need no longer be silent, you can share your feelings and fears and your passions family will not judge or incriminate only offer sympathy and understanding.  There is nothing like a good venting - I can tell you.
Again welcome  

 I'll tell you this...... No eternal reward will forgive us now for wasting the dawn.....
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)

Mary j
New Member
since 03-27-2003
Posts 1

3 posted 03-29-2003 01:53 AM       View Profile for Mary j   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for Mary j

I was just browsing and i read your words. I liked it alot. I know what it feels like to keep what hurts so much to myself. And sometimes it hurts even more to talk about it. And besides, if we told the world how we felt... then would the world know who we are?
Nice poems. You wrote this poem a while ago... i will now go look for more of your work , take care

since 10-17-2001
Posts 287

4 posted 04-24-2003 01:29 PM       View Profile for teenpoet   Email teenpoet   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for teenpoet

I know how you feel.  I went through a similar part of my life about atwo years ago.  I still don't confide much to others.  A friend or two of mine have only just found out I slice my arms or legs sometimes.  But then I found out that one of my friends does the same thing.  So we're both trying to help each other.  No matter how bleak it may seem always remember that someone will care enough to listen and that you wouldn't be a burden.  it's a hard lesson to learn but learnable nonetheless.

~Keep dreaming~
New Member
since 08-14-2003
Posts 3

5 posted 08-14-2003 08:59 PM       View Profile for penpen   Edit/Delete Message     View IP for penpen

I can really relate to you with this poem. especially at the begining. It was like reading about myself. Keep up the good work!

every step i take
is another misstake to you

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