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Joel the wolf
Senior Member
since 2000-04-06
Posts 1333
Angels Camp

0 posted 2000-04-23 01:42 AM


Raping Memories

Humility striped bare
thrown down
savagely beaten hoping to survive,
this raped affair.

Thought exposing
private things I call mine,
nothing has the right
The weight so imposing.

God NO. This is foul.
Help. my voice unheard.
The struggling seemly spurs it on.
like a mouse cough by the night owl

Screaming get off me.
Then the beatings and grunts,
Trying to fight back
It’s my soul taking the brunt.

My spirit paying the fee
Looking for a way out
I screamed and shout
Sickening suckling on me.

You have no right! I fight on.
Futile struggling,
The impending  penetration begins
I go cold, till the dawn.

The pounding within, Oh God, my soul.
Is someone passing by?
My voice is frozen stuck in my throat.
Could I have screamed out bold?

Suddenly it’s over,
my attacker has left
damaged good’s spent.
Feeling like trodden clover.

Oh God, I can’t look myself in the eye.
Did I bring this on?
Being mauled this way
I began to cry.

Can I ever hold my head up again
Will I ever walk in safety?
Can I bear another attack,
From these raping memories?
Fearing another, I don’t look back.

© Copyright 2000 Joel. - All Rights Reserved
dhuron
Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476

1 posted 2000-04-23 02:22 AM


As always Joel, your poem is so powerful and I am left in awe.  Such Dark Dark feelings here...

Daniel

 The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, not the kindly smile, not the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship."

--Ralph Waldo Emerson


tracie66
Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713
Australia
2 posted 2000-04-23 09:40 AM


Joel~
A sad thing to read, when something like this happens we are totally stripped of everything inside and out.
Hugs and loving thoughts sent your way
Tracie~
Let your spirit and soul once again run free
Free of the hurt we cannot see

Let the strength of others help you through
Strength given from me to you



 Keep all the windows of your mind open
Anne Rooks


Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

3 posted 2000-04-23 12:36 PM


it is the memories that torture afterwards, this was almost impossible to read because it is so vivid and...
so true

 Kathleen


sKiTtLeS
Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 113
wisconsin, u.s.a.
4 posted 2000-04-23 12:49 PM


You've done it again, Joel. Taking yourself to the limit all the time. This is truly impressive. So much strength and meaning.
Great job. Still hoping the best for you.

sKiTtLeS~

 "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
-the words of a friend

sKiTtLeS
Member
since 2000-04-12
Posts 113
wisconsin, u.s.a.
5 posted 2000-04-23 01:28 PM


Joel-
I couldn't open your recent e-mail, because I have to register with a new address. So as soon as I get that taken care of, I'll drop you a note.

Your friend,
sKiTtLeS~

SpitFire
Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396

6 posted 2000-04-23 03:25 PM


~such a raw and chilling piece....great expression here

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
7 posted 2000-04-23 08:00 PM


Raw screams of pain Joel, but I hear you when you cry for help, and I love you to Dad..    Wonderful powerful work here  

 A heart and soul are not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Scarlet Lady
Member
since 2000-02-11
Posts 242
Midwest
8 posted 2000-04-24 10:37 PM


Joel......this painfully, yet so wonderfully communicated poetry,  IS  my life...... spent before me in your  words.  You my friend have seen what seems like many sorrows and joys,  and it has caused you to reach into the depths of your soul to live???  I enjoyed this, and want to read more of your works!  Thanks for sharing your gift!  
I would like to email some time if you do that sort of thing?????  Lynne

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