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Dark Poetry #1
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Black Tears (retitled)
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Black Tears (retitled) |
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demonic~angel Member
since 2000-03-11
Posts 54Kansas |
Darkness descends on my body I lay there unable to move Terror stricken My soul turning into a black pool of blood. Tears stream down my face like a flood Never ceasing to stop This aching emptiness stays It never goes away Always inside me forever This dead love of mine Loving you from a distance Far from your touch I’ve put up stones of determination for fear of being hurt again You try to knock down those stones I keep them up with all my might. You look in my eyes and you see fright. Through the cracks of the stones blackness seeps out My soul overflowing with fear I lay here in agony Trying to overcome this It’s too much bare I take my hands to wipe off my tears I look at my pale hands and see black tears My soul has cried its last cry of agony < !signature--> Messenger of fear in sight Dark deception kills the light ~Metallica~ [This message has been edited by demonic~angel (edited 03-24-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Misty Hawley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
you define darkness with this one, such sharp vivid images of desperation... I loved the metaphor of the stones and black tears...WOW very well done take care, jm and you can say baby... baby can I hold you tonight maybe if told you the right words... at the right time, you'd be mine... baby can I hold you tonight... tracy chapman |
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
the black tears kinda grabbed me too. great imagery. i love too much, and not enough. |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
same for me. black tears, very cool. this poem, very cool. jannel Dont wake the dead, Wake the dying, Don't change what you've said, Change what you're saying. |
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Broken Wings Member
since 2000-03-18
Posts 157Miami, FL. |
Aah yes, the black tears was a great addition to this poem...i also loved the part about the blackness seeping out thru the cracks..nicely written! take care, Broken Wings "As you learn and grow, you will realize the greater the pain, the greater the growth." -IYANLA VANZANT |
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Tess Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288Australia |
and I'm going along with the crowd here..but yes the black tears was the stand out image...maybe you should re-title it black tears ?? "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies." -Aristotle |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Black tears. . . I know that we have all cried them at one time or another. . . You have done well here, DA. . . ----------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very touching poem...I really liked the lines..."This aching emptiness stays..it never goes away..always inside me forever...this dead love of mine." That is the heart of the poem...tragic and lovely. I love the title black tears. James |
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mcclain Junior Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 13 |
Don't fear love. Let it heal you. |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
I'm following the crowd as well. This is a terriffic work. After reading it I was shuddering, it struck deep...great work indeed... daniel |
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