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Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio

0 posted 2000-03-21 06:32 AM


hello yall.
its been a long time since i posted a poem.  and it feels good to write again.  this poem is about an ex-girlfrind.  a person who i truly loved with all my heart.  but my life got tough and i had to let her go.  i e-mailed her.  she never e-mailed me back.  i was crushed.  that was 5 months ago.  i ran into her the other day and i asked her some questions.  well i got my answers.  she said that i was just a thing and that she never loved me.  that hurt hard.  looks like i made the right choice when i choose to leave her.  i have a new girlfrind now and i love her with all my soul.  but when my ex said that to me the other day all i could do was cry.  so i did what i do best.  i wrote about it.  well i have babbled this intro long enough.  just wanted to give yall some info on it.  tell me what yall think.  thanks!!

TRUE COLOURS

I thought that you loved me
But I guess i was wrong
All you did was use me
And lead me along
To you I was a puppet
To use in your litte game
But now thanks to you
My soul will never be the same
I thought I could trust you
So I gave you my heart
But all you did was crush it
And rip it apart
How could I be so blind
Not to see what was going on
You never really loved me
You just used me like a pawn
But I just fell into your trap
You just lead me right along
Hypnotizing my senses
With your sweet sirein's song
But it took a death
For me to finaly see
What the hell
You were doing to me
I was in tears, I was deppressed
I was very very down
I came to you for help
But you were never around
That day is what finaly
Opened up my eyes
And I seen what you were telling me
Was just a pack of lies
I can't wait for the day
So I can see
Someone use you
Like you used me
And then you will look around
For somebody to care
But all you'll have will be loneliness
Cuz no one will be there
And then when it feels like a knife sliced threw your heart
A pain that thats all to real
Then you will finaly know the pain
That you made me feel...

Jesse C Jaymz


 All we are is dust in the wind....



© Copyright 2000 Jesse Jaymz - All Rights Reserved
StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
1 posted 2000-03-21 08:34 AM


Jesse, loves wounds know know time, this was great  could really feel the emotions behind the words good job!

 "A poet is one who spends a lifetime standing out in thunderstorms, waiting to be hit by lightning"
~Randal Jarrell~



CrEaTuRe
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 260
Kuala Lumpur,Malaysia
2 posted 2000-03-21 09:04 AM


it's a beautiful sad full of hurt..... love it....nice to see you writing again  
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-03-21 10:40 AM


sweet jesse, im SO glad your both back here and writing again...
with the flow of ink...comes healing...
this poem is full of your heart, trust me sweets..its HER loss...you will always deserve better...and you will find it.
take care, jm

 and you can say baby...
baby can I hold you tonight
maybe if told you the right words...
at the right time,
you'd be mine...
baby can I hold you tonight...
tracy chapman



Dark_kisses_Within
Senior Member
since 2000-03-21
Posts 680
Kansas
4 posted 2000-03-21 11:06 AM


I just joined this forum, but I must say this is one of the most heart filled poems I have read in a very long time!  Very well written and full of emotions.  Great job!

Dark_kisses_within


 I do not love you for being perfect.....
I love you for being perfect for me!!

Dark Enchantress
Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258
meet Morgana
5 posted 2000-03-21 04:03 PM


Well first of all I'd like to welcome you back. Writing certainly is a tool for venting and you do it very well.   I'm glad things are working out better for you...but I do feel your pain and I'm sure with time your wounds will heal. Time is the best physician. Once again...very well done.  

              Yours truly,
                 Angel


 "The dark weight of the hour
humming madly
filling my head
with blood
and sorrow
and dread
the executioner's song."
-Jewel
"The Dark Bells"

~*Angel of Darkness*~


Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
6 posted 2000-03-21 05:12 PM


thanks yall for your coments.  they mean alot.  when that girl said to me i was crushed beyond belief.  it took 2 long nights of tears to write this,  and it looks like i made the right choice when i left her.  when i left her i had my doubts if i did the right thing.  and now that i look back i know i did.  thanks again yall.  the poem i write will hopefully be a happyer one.  well i must be off to band practice.  keep the coments comming.  they are greatly appreiated.  

 All we are is dust in the wind....



Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
7 posted 2000-03-21 07:40 PM


Welcome back Jesse, we all missed you, myself included as you well know.
Glad you are writing again, honestly it becomes a tool to help you..
Sorry you had to deal with all this, but now you are moving on you can understand it's just one of life's hard lessons, which you conquered and came through with flying colours.
Well done the poem, yourself, everything!
*hugs*

 There is only one corner of the universe you can be certain of improving, and that's your own self...
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
8 posted 2000-03-22 11:46 PM


isis,
*hugs*  thanks for your reply.  yes i have come passed with flying colours.  and i made the right choice in dumping her.  i made this into a card and sent this to her.  and surprise i havent gotton a reply.  but i will move on and this did make me stronger.  and if it wasnt for her hurting me i would have never met the one that i am with now.  well i must be off.  talk to you soon....


 All we are is dust in the wind....



dhuron
Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476

9 posted 2000-03-23 11:38 PM


Great Poem!

My soul will never be the same
I thought I could trust you
So I gave you my heart
But all you did was crush it
And rip it apart


this part of your poem deals a mighty blow and speaks with such power and force.  Pain pours forth.

Great to see you moved on with you life

Dhuron

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
10 posted 2000-03-23 11:49 PM


thanks Dhuron.  when i wrote this i was feeling so much pain so it just came out in my writing.  thanks.  yes i have moved on and it couldnt be better.  


 All we are is dust in the wind....



Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
11 posted 2000-03-23 11:52 PM


writing is healing. this is a beautiful way to heal, and yours was a beautiful expression of pain. she obviously didn't deserve the love that you seem to radiate. i hope someone will.
jannle

 Dont wake the dead,
Wake the dying,
Don't change what you've said,
Change what you're saying.

Tess
Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 288
Australia
12 posted 2000-03-24 02:31 AM


I too have had exactly the same experience and so could relate to the feelings and emotions in your poem. It's such a painful thing when you trust someone, love them open up to them, and then find it was nothing more than a time filler or a game of some cruel kind to them. (puppets..pawns..exactly!!!)

I wish you luck in love  
Tess

 "What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two
bodies."
-Aristotle


Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
13 posted 2000-03-24 09:31 PM


tess
puppets and pawns, yes.  thats all i felt like i was after i talked to her.  a puppet, a pawn, a little toy that she played with.  well i am not a toy.  i gave her all my love.  but she tossed it away.  i have moved on and found another.  and i know she loves me.  and i am happy.  and i love it.  so to her i leave this poem.  emily this ones for you.......


 All we are is dust in the wind....



demonic~angel
Member
since 2000-03-11
Posts 54
Kansas
14 posted 2000-03-25 12:28 PM


James,

This poem is so full of hurt and pain and agony.  *huggz*  Very deeply written....I just love your work...*huggz*...

 Messenger of fear in sight
Dark deception kills the light
~Metallica~

~Venus~
Member
since 2000-01-27
Posts 128

15 posted 2000-03-25 04:28 PM


Using my Goddess of Love wand, (look at icon) I give you luck with this newfound relationship. You deserve better than someone who says you're just a "thing". Good luck.

 ~goddess of love, passion, and desire~

I'll be here...why? I'll
be waiting...for what?
'll be waiting for you
so...if you come here,
you'll find me...

I promise.

Jesse Jaymz
Senior Member
since 2000-01-24
Posts 708
Youngstown, ohio
16 posted 2000-03-25 05:22 PM


thanks again yall.  i am so glad that yall like me work.  demonic angel thank you for sayin that you always love my work.  that made this lonley guitar player happy.  and venus, thank you for using your wand of love on me.  right now i need all the luck i can need.  thanks again yall.  you all made my day a hell of alot brighter........  *big hugs to all*
~JeSsE~


 All we are is dust in the wind....



StarryEyed
Junior Member
since 2000-03-22
Posts 20
Florida
17 posted 2000-03-25 09:07 PM


Awesome poem!  I too have been used, a little too recently.  I felt the pain, but it seems like you got through fine.  As for me...well I can't say that I got through it.  I still long for my mate that decieved me so.

 It takes a minute to give your heart away,
It takes as second for it to break.
It takes a lifetime to forget that special someone,
And the impact that they make.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
18 posted 2000-04-05 03:28 AM


Jesse the saddest part is we trust so much and give so much so willingly and they give nothing in return.  Our love has no value to them.    James
StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
19 posted 2000-04-05 12:35 PM


Jesse, this was great !  I think so many of us have went through the same things, thanks for expressing that emotion for us!! Glad you are writing again and I look forward to reading more!!!

 Mystical being
which makes ink flow
Surround me in
your incandescent glow
Fill my brain with
thoughts and rhyme
As I try to capture
but a moment in time
~Shan~


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