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Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA

0 posted 2000-03-19 05:21 PM



Karma maze of lightning
Thunder bolts at dawn
Laugh at fools delighting
In lovers quickly gone

Mirror image forward
Reality askew
Up is downtown sideways
Washed in black and blue

Loafers walk the sidewalks
Quiet, listen, learn,
Sleep in sheets or shoestores
Where you feel the shadows burn

In nights of sleepless armor
Someone let me in
To guarded hearts or hallways
Before life comes again

© Copyright 2000 Jannel - All Rights Reserved
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
1 posted 2000-03-19 07:04 PM


This is simple but deep.  So many avenues this could refer to, filled with analogies.
Well done  

 May the world hug you today,
With it's warmth and love.
I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart,
That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world,
Wishing you well and
wishing you love......
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)


Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
2 posted 2000-03-19 08:07 PM


~Janell

I really like what you have done with this. It has a certain kind of haunting feeling to it, but also a sense of mystery. Great job!!

AMY  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-03-19 09:49 PM


I second amy and isis's comments and add that i enjoyed the rhyme flow and pace of the poem...good work.
take care, jm

 and you can say baby...
baby can I hold you tonight
maybe if told you the right words...
at the right time,
you'd be mine...
baby can I hold you tonight...
tracy chapman



Aiden Kelly
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 148
Ft. Wayne, IN USA
4 posted 2000-03-20 05:09 PM


well...I LOVE IT!!! the images are so haunting to me...
*****
Mirror image forward
Reality askew
Up is downtown sideways
Washed in black and blue
******
the downtown...black and blue thing just hit me as violence though i could be wrong...but like isis said there are so many different ways you could take this...wow!  i like it jann!   great work sweetie!  

StarrGazer
Senior Member
since 2000-03-05
Posts 679
Texas
5 posted 2000-03-20 05:35 PM


Jannel this is great !!!

 "A poet is one who spends a lifetime standing out in thunderstorms, waiting to be hit by lightning"
~Randal Jarrell~



Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
6 posted 2000-03-21 12:03 PM


Thank you all for your replies. It generally referred to the messed up way we would see society if we stepped out to look at it, as if we were reading a book about our world a hundred years from now.

 Dont wake the dead,
Wake the dying,
Don't change what you've said,
Change what you're saying.

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