navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #1 » Persecution
Dark Poetry #1
Post A Reply Post New Topic Persecution Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin

0 posted 2000-03-06 12:38 PM


yet another off the top of my head......


On my knees
head placed
upon the guillotine
A thousand eyes
staring silenty
Every face
is my own
I am guilty
by my condemning
conscious
I must sever
the voices
from my mind


© Copyright 2000 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved
Danny Holloway
Member Elite
since 2000-01-15
Posts 2034
Tulsa, OK
1 posted 2000-03-06 03:21 PM


I'm glad this came off the top of your head before your head came off the top of your shoulders. LOL.
"I must sever voices from my mind".  
interesting.
Nice short/slicing poem.
Danny

sonjes
Senior Member
since 2000-02-18
Posts 564
North Carolina
2 posted 2000-03-06 06:50 PM


Funny thing about the guillotine...it really wasn't that humane.  It sometimes took many chops before the head was completely off.  Pretty gruesome and food for thought.
It takes more than one chop to sever the voices...Liked the impromptu poem, danni.


  Don't care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don't give up and use the chance
To return to innocence.
-Enigma

danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
3 posted 2000-03-07 12:44 PM


i know this one is very far from a great piece fo work. wasn't very happy with it after i finished it. started off as a good idea to me, but then kinda fizzled out along the way. but anyway.....
LOL!!!!   Danny- i didn't even notice that! hmmm....anyway- thanks bunches for the kind comments.
sonjes- i think i already know how dull the blade can be. i have tried many times to overcome my self defeating conscious. the pain is worse every time. thanks for the comment!

Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
4 posted 2000-03-07 04:18 PM


You write wonderfully when you just let it flow, danni.  This was excellent.

Michael

danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
5 posted 2000-03-08 02:08 AM


thanks micheal, you're too kind. i personally though this one was bad. but then, i always think my poems are bad. anyway, thanks again for the very kind words.

 i love too much, and not enough.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Dark Poetry #1 » Persecution

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary