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Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554


0 posted 2000-02-26 02:58 PM


~A Portrait of Complacency~

She starts her day...the exact same way...
drowsily stumbling down the hall,
2 cups of coffee, 2 antidepressants, and 2 Tylenol.
Still unsure of just when ... she lost complete control,
not realizing the pain of the past had finally taken its toll.
She consoles herself with the all too often release of her tears...
but crying alone cant bring her back--from too many losses in too few years.
So she sits and stares out the window for hours upon end...
and in her journal writes love letters, she will never send.
There was a time when she knew love's sweet intensity...
but that too was taken away...so many things seem--not meant to be.
She holds on to his memory, a treasured secret she will never share,
She learned a long time ago...her life would never be fair.
She's never been a beauty...no ones fantasy or dream--
still she was intriguing, like the butterfly tattoo on her breast, so few had ever seen.
Many were drawn to her, sensing the depth of her need and desire,
but this kind of love is hard to hold, and eventually they too would tire.
Content to be alone, she exchanges company for creating her words of rhyme,
she writes in her diary for hours, completely unaware of the passing of time.
She has always had this gift of being able to capture in ink-her hearts many expressions.
With in the journal pages lie a view into her soul and hearts true confession.
Inspiration now momentarily lost, to her mind desperately needing rest...
another day gone, seemingly without a trace...getting thru the night, her next test.

She'll end this day...the exact same way...
exhausted, she'll stumble back down the hall...
2 shots of gin, 2 sleeping pills, and 2 more Tylenol.
If sleep comes she will accept it, if not she will be fine...
she'll write in her journal by candle, begging inspiration for more verse and rhyme.
Don't feel so sorry for her, the poetry has kept her alive and sane.
She is content here inside herself...she prays that tomorrow will be the same.

Janet Marie   2/25/00


This was the result of an assignment from a writing workshop I took recently. The goal was to describe an image of something very drab or void of color and scenery... to give a sense of the mundane or boring, but to include emotions. We were to use as few "colorful" or descriptive adjectives as possible.
I just want to say, this is not a reflection of my life, while much of "Me" is woven in the emotions, this is not a self portrait...but I am always aware, but for the grace of God and my writing...it could be...(smile)
Thank you to all who take the time to read this one,as I know it is rather long.
take care, Janet Marie

now where did I put that Tylenol...



 ...there are places inside all our souls...
that have never been touched...
there are places inside our hearts...
that need to be loved this much...
Janet Marie

*I miss you baby...
I love you, always.*


© Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved
blueyz75
Member
since 1999-12-28
Posts 138
IL
1 posted 2000-02-26 04:23 PM


Sadly enough, I could see myself there.  I wasn't nearly as bad.  My poultice was my tears.  For years I cry.  Now I have to stop myself from thinking about it so I can get moving and not spend all my time crying.  Only the opposite happened to me, no writing.  All was silent in my life and it was deafening.  I just wonder if somewhere, he still remembers too.

Kelly


 I love the male body, it's better designed than the male mind.---Andrea Newman


Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
2 posted 2000-02-26 06:26 PM


Janet Marie, the reader can see this could easily become them.  I felt sorry for her, but didn't dislike her and label her as a nohoper, therein lies the magic.  Well done,
Janet Marie  

 May the world hug you today,
With it's warmth and love.
I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart,
That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world,
Wishing you well and
wishing you love......
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



patchoulipumpkin
Member
since 2000-01-01
Posts 196
Bermuda
3 posted 2000-02-26 06:46 PM


I think this is an incredible poem, very nicely written, unsympathetic portrait.  Brilliant.  Yeh, you really captured someone's life, simply, without asking for us to feel sorry or happy for her.  Great. well done, if i was your teacher I would give you an A in a flash.  Excellent.
AVANTI
Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664
INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE
4 posted 2000-02-27 02:14 PM


if that was the goal then i must say mission accomplished...different topic...and very well written
got mail and could not reply cause of soem problem which i will fix...
see you around


 you don't have to understand completely..to love completely...
remember even the darkest night has a morning to meet...you'll understand someday..Avanti Rao



childomine
Senior Member
since 2000-01-25
Posts 818
st. petersburg, FL
5 posted 2000-02-27 03:42 PM


For someone who this kind of life is NOT about, you express it all very well.  I have been there and know of what I speak.  This could serve to describe many people that I have known in my lifetime.  Did you get an A on the assignment??  
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
6 posted 2000-02-27 03:54 PM


~Janet Marie...

Now this was pretty cool I thought LOL. I really liked how you captured this, the life of someone being told. I think most of us can relate to the pain this "character" feels. ALL of us from time to time just go through the motions of life, and dont really live. Thanks for sharing this..Beautifully written

AMY  

 ~Live today as though it were your last but prepare for tomorrow as though it were here~

Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
7 posted 2000-02-27 05:50 PM


this was just a great work. i enjoyed the parallels of her "coping tools." you did an excellent job of forming character using actions, not just inner thoughts. jannel

 "I'm just saying
that we've mistaken one
for thousands of words,
and for that mistake
I've caused you such pain
that I damn that word."
-10000 Maniacs "Jezebel"



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

8 posted 2000-02-28 12:26 PM


thank you MUCH to those who read and replied to this...
Child, to answer your question, yes I got an "A"... (actually the professor didnt give letter grades, it was a point grading system)
and to the 2 people who emailed me and asked if the butterfly tattoo was "Fact or Fiction"...(you made me laugh so hard)...
I will simply say...only my "message ICON" knows for sure...LOL
thanks guys...Janet Marie

 She says baby,
It's 3am I must be lonely,
When she says baby,
Well I can't help but be scared of it all sometimes,
Says the rains gonna wash away I believe it.
Matchbox20

I love you baby... always.*



Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
9 posted 2000-02-28 05:49 PM


I have feared opening this thread for the past few days for the simple reason I thought I might see my picture attached just from reading the title...LOL  May have well been the picture... I saw myself in this in way too many ways.  I have often sat back wondering - just when did I stop caring.  How could one lose so much vigor and motivation....why I dread every wasted day - yet will do nothing with my tomorrow.  Wondering of the man I could be - "if I only had a reason."  Great writing, Janet.  I think you've inspired something here...

Michael


serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2004-06-15 05:44 AM


seems you knew ME before I knew you...


Soleil Noir
Senior Member
since 2001-12-19
Posts 688
USA
11 posted 2004-06-15 09:25 AM



Gotta love the powers of a witch
who conjures up gems from the past...

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