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The Jackal
Member
since 1999-08-13
Posts 426
Springfield, Massachusetts U.S.A

0 posted 2000-02-19 01:25 PM


shaking because theres nothing
left to hold on to this
believing for the season
my only reason
for not picking up this mess
sparing all the time
alone ..wishing you never were
a self imposed ripped apart
shadow of a diseased and desperate heart...



© Copyright 2000 John Dixon - All Rights Reserved
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

1 posted 2000-02-19 02:36 PM


wow...so much emotion spoke in so few words...and the last line...amazing!!
superb jackal!
janet marie

 Now for me some words come easy...
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch.
You never knew what I loved in you--
I don't know what you loved in me...
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be...
How long have I been sleeping-
How long have I been drifting alone through the night...
How long have I've dreaming I could make it right...
If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might
To be the one you need...
Jackson Browne



JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
2 posted 2000-02-20 01:55 PM


Jackal this is very nicely written and very talented.  James
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
3 posted 2000-02-20 07:49 PM


Loved the last line, hope the shadow strengthens and walks into the sunlight again soon.  (HUGS)

 May the world hug you today,
With it's warmth and love.
I pray it whispers a joyful tune in your heart,
That tell you there is a friend sitting in another corner of the world,
Wishing you well and
wishing you love......
~Isis~
(Goddess - Sovereign of the Spirit)



BlOoD TiEs
Junior Member
since 1999-10-02
Posts 30
New York City
4 posted 2000-02-20 08:53 PM


i liked it!

 Dont bet on fast horses, bet on slow rabits.

Aiden Kelly
Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 148
Ft. Wayne, IN USA
5 posted 2000-02-21 08:35 PM


simple but absolutely riveting.  i've been there. you captured it far better than i ever could.  
JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
6 posted 2000-02-22 06:22 PM


This flowed so well I had to go back and read it again.  Each word led onto the next!
Great feeling on this one!

Jannel
Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492
Muncie, IN, USA
7 posted 2000-02-22 09:45 PM


unfair. janet said exactly what i would have,  so i am left with nothing to say except that i really enjoyed it.
jannel


 "I'm just saying
that we've mistaken one
for thousands of words,
and for that mistake
I've caused you such pain
that I damn that word."
-10000 Maniacs "Jezebel"



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