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moebius
Junior Member
since 2000-02-16
Posts 11


0 posted 2000-02-17 10:25 AM


This was indirectly inspired by a poem by Edgar Alan Poe.  I read somewhere that he had written a poem like this and was inspired (forgive me for using inspired twice *oops*, used it again).

7 x 2 x 1

Upon awakening I could at once sense a strange
Feeling of claustrophobia, a fear of which
I have no previous experience
Still drowsy I make to rub my eyes

The shock reels me as my hands collide
With some barrier in the gloom
I remain motionless, gasping for breath
As I recover from the fright
My mind races with thoughts as to what
I could have encountered
Fearing the worst I slowly and nervously
Raise my hand once more
Dreading the anticipated contact
As I do so my mind begins to ponder
The cold hard surface on which I lie

Suddenly contact
Merely inches above my chest
Panicking, my hands flail all round me
Discovering the dimensions of my resting place


---
I am open to suggestions as to how I could better convey the need for speed in reading the start of the second verse.
Thanx



© Copyright 2000 moebius - All Rights Reserved
danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
1 posted 2000-02-17 12:03 PM


personally i think all was conveyed very well. this is a great piece. waking up in your coffin. i can't even begin to imagine the feeling. i think this would be pretty close. very well done.
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-02-17 12:27 PM


ooooh..this one gives me chills...well written, Mr. Poe would enjoy it!
janet marie

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