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Dark Poetry #1
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Melt the World
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Melt the World |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
the world melts quietly sinking into days of grey falling back to a sea of nothingness swallowing life swallowing creation swallowing me doubt mixed with primordial browns inconsistent greys and the blood of all martyrs who died never knowing their cause and of all those who wished to save a piece of humanity then watched humanity destroy life destroy creation destroy me |
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| © Copyright 2000 Jannel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Sounds like you're having the kind of day I'm having....LOL Just kidding. Great poem, Love the line about martyrs never knowing their cause. Michael |
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AVANTI Senior Member
since 2000-02-02
Posts 664INDIA/MAHARASHTRA/PUNE |
jannel... swallowing life...creation...me destroying life...creation...me very powrful words... very thought provoking... like the world is melting...scares me... we better get our act together!!!! you don't have to understand completely..to love completely... remember even the darkest night has a morning to meet...you'll understand someday..Avanti Rao |
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JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
I liked your style here. The repeating lines of "destroy" and "swallowing" really give it a good effect. Joy |
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EMG Junior Member
since 2000-02-09
Posts 10 |
Very very deep poem. You seem to be having a day much like my life! This place is great. Everyone can express their deepest thoughts and be appreciated for it, as I am appreciating your poem now. Keep up the good work  Eli |
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Jannel Member
since 2000-01-18
Posts 492Muncie, IN, USA |
Thank you all. The first thing my boyfriend said to me yesterday was that the world was melting. He meant that the Indiana winter was thawing a bit, but that comment, mixed with some emotions that have been running through me lately prompted this. Again, thank you for your kind words. Jannel "I'm just saying that we've mistaken one for thousands of words, and for that mistake I've caused you such pain that I damn that word." -10000 Maniacs "Jezebel" |
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Ian Llewellyn ap-Griffith Member
since 2000-02-12
Posts 197Cincinnati, Oh, U.S.A. |
Much like the melting of winter into spring, your poem has an earthtone quality to it. Sometimes so does life. Nice work. |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
doubt mixed with primordial browns inconsistent greys and the blood of all martyrs who died never knowing their cause I loved those lines Beautifully written emotions...was so colorful. Jennifer |
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Aiden Kelly Member
since 2000-02-14
Posts 148Ft. Wayne, IN USA |
that's deep chica... i like the color choices...brown and grey (dull and lifeless) mixed with blood red (in this case deadly vibrance). i'll admit to you that i haven't yet figured out what all you are talking about b/c i'm pretty sure there is alot going on but i know that whether i understand or not it grips me and i am now on a mission to decipher this thing that can create and destroy you...maybe it isn't just the world around us maybe it is us... oh yeah, i'm registered!  ) Rachel<>< (otherwise known as Aiden Kelly) |
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