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Dark Poetry #1
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Ocean Dreams
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Ocean Dreams |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland 
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The eye in the sky looked down on me, The oceans moon watching all I do, Countless powers and darkness witness my daily realities, Knowing my heart at least is true. The mighty albatross my messenger this eve, Reminding me of what I must do, She shares her wisdom and grace with me, And steers my soul far from you. The ocean is my heart, Vast, deep and free, I am at one with it's beauty, Tis where I'm meant to be. My lighthouse watches all too, Lighting and showing me the way, To let my soul go where it needs, It must find happiness this day. So once again I leave my body, Journey far and wide, Sharing love and beauty, No longer need I hide. You can control some things it's true, But you can't control the heart and soul of me, I will wither and die all too soon, If I am prevented from being me. I will journey, I will love, I will learn, I will listen, I will share happiness, I will share wisdom. I WILL NOT concede to a loveless oblivion. At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato) ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Isis - All Rights Reserved | |||
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
This was beautiful Isis. No, you do not have to accept a loveless oblivion. Noone does, nor should. It is nice to hear this stronger, fighting voice in your poems. I hope you keep strong and keep fighting for your happiness. |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Do indeed keep fighting for your happiness, Isis. I liked the flavor of this one. Someday I really need to see the ocean...  *Krista Knutson* ~*Like a lion, without fear of the howling pack, Like a gust of wind, ne'er trapped in a snare, Like a lotus blossom, ne'er sprinkled by water, Let me, like a unicorn, in solitude roam.*~ Hymn Of Buddha |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
I never do this but this piece is to good to pass up. I must say to, and please do not take this the wrong way----I want to sharpen this up a little with my thoughts. Once again do not take this the wrong way......... But If you want to listen to my thoughts upon it please let me know!!!!! Bojopy "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Thanks guys, it's kind of different but I like it Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
Something we have in common here Isis...although I'm afraid I couldn't have worded it so beautifully. Very nice Isis and may your search be fruitful and above all, adventurous. "They can take away my belongings. They can beat me. They can torchure me and they can kill me. Then they will have my dead body. But they will not have my obedience." -Gandhi ~*Angel of Darkness*~ |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Dark Enchantress thanks so much, I'm beginning to think we are soul sisters Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
Isis I just reread the poem like ten times and I think I was wrong before about wanting to sharpen it up. This poem has a deep feeling to it and it should not be changed in any way!!!!! I am sorry for even saying such a thing! |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Bojopy a good poet is always open to criticism and opinion, otherwise how can we hope to better ourselves. Just for interest sake what concerned you?? Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Beautiful Isis. . . I loved the feeling that I was flying across the ocean to be with the one that I love. . . You can do it. . .it can be more than just a dream. . . --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Sven if only we could huh? Love you too my kindred, and thanks glad you liked it Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
I have a problem with this myself so I have been training myself to not do this. Anyway the tenses in this change not really in a bad way but I think with changing them to being all the same it may come out even better then you may have thought. I also have a problem with first person and third person in my grammer. Anyway if you ever read my stuff please give me such responses as this I would greatly appreciate.< !signature--> "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) [This message has been edited by Bojopy (edited 01-11-2000).] |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Excellent work, Isis. Powerful ending. Kudos. Michael |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Isis, who says that we can't?. . . it can happen if you believe. . . --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
This soul of yours knows what it's talking about. Please continue to listen. |
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