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danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin

0 posted 2000-01-05 01:42 AM


She walks alone
amidst a silent crowd
Blending in unwillingly
unnoticed
Trying to cry out
Longing to be heard
But the silence remains
unbroken and deafening
She is withdrawn
Lost within this reverie
She waits and wonders
hopelessly
if someone will notice
she is gone


© Copyright 2000 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
1 posted 2000-01-05 05:34 AM


Wow, I can certainly relate to the feelings here.  I have felt this way within my own family most my life, not to mention anybody else I've known.  You capture the loneliness well.  Good poem

Michael

lostboy
Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275
New Hampshire, USA
2 posted 2000-01-05 08:51 AM


Again, you are loud and clear. I loved "silence remains unbroken and deafening". Excellent way with words!
JennyLee
Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.
3 posted 2000-01-05 11:38 AM


Loved every word and the color red is a great choice to pull it all together  

Jenny


 Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.


danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
4 posted 2000-01-05 12:34 PM


Thank you all so very much!  
FreeByrd
Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267

5 posted 2000-01-05 01:32 PM


To be wanted. These sad and lonely words weave an all too common experience in our society.

Wonderfully written.

-RS  

 There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief

There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief

- Hendrix



Bojopy
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391

6 posted 2000-01-06 01:14 AM


I can not relate to this poem in the aspect that you wrote it in.  But I can relate to in one fashion. People do not want to listen to my thoughts or my poetry.  But thanks to this place I can finally relate.  And we all are friends of a family to the written word.  BOJOPY


 


Thaddeus
Member
since 1999-11-16
Posts 78
MA
7 posted 2000-01-06 01:25 AM


Your words remind me of one of those wooden Russian dolls with another and another and another and an empty doll at the end.  Only you paint lonliness within lonliness within lonliness with emptyness at the end.  
danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
8 posted 2000-01-06 01:33 AM


Bojopy-you are right about this place. So many willing to listen, so many who share the similar emotions.
Thaddeus-The poem has done its job if that is what you imagine.

Thank you both for your comments.

Bojopy
Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391

9 posted 2000-01-06 02:09 AM


WOW I really liked what T said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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