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| Dark Poetry #1 |
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medusa Junior Member
since 1999-12-09
Posts 23 |
The morning began to creep into the darkess through the tatterted sheets and old curtains. I lie on a cold bed without you! my flesh touching the cold sheets the coldness i would not have been if your body was next to mine! what remains of you is your crumpled shirt on the chairand your smell after shave, sweat and semen. When i had melted into you that night it had been a few minutes of heaven and now all that is left is the rawnesss of my soul, without your love. Used. I wrap the sheets around my body hoping that the footsteps that pass outside of that cheap and sleezy motel room are yours, returning back to me. He said he loved me the ****! |
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| © Copyright 1999 medusa - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Medusa, I'm interested in knowing the thoughts behind this poem. . . it portrays longing as well as utter contempt for the one being spoken of. . . That's not to say that I didn't like it. . . I thought that your words were well chosen and show your subject well. . . I'd just like to know more about it. . . --------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
How sad for you or the lady portrayed in this poem. I have never had a one nighter, cos I feared too much the morning after... Well done though, strong and good imagery  At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato) ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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medusa Junior Member
since 1999-12-09
Posts 23 |
sven!!! you have basically understood the concept!!! i tend to write raw pieces! right from the soul if i can the protagonist whoever she is! is absolutely ambiguous!! emotions are coursing through her mind! she has lost her virginity and he has abandoned her. i see her almost as the tainted angel and isis thanks for your reply! |
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Midnight Junior Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 28 |
I like this, short, but gets the point across. |
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JD Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 61N Prov |
 Very very sad. I feel ur pain.
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danni Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688wisconsin |
Medusa-Good, and definately raw. Unfortuanately, sometimes we fall blindly. You have captured the emotion well. |
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Quiet Lightning Member
since 1999-12-26
Posts 56 |
Weird,unusual,but everyone express their feelings a diffrent way |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
The one nighters....So grand as they occur but utter madness upon the next meeting........I'm not saying I have one nighters but I have in the past... No offense to all< !signature--> "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) [This message has been edited by Bojopy (edited 01-09-2000).] |
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