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Butterfly
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Butterfly |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA 
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Butterfly I wish I knew how it felt to stand before my bedroom window, Touch my hand to the inviting glass, and leave this caterpillar body. I wish I knew, I wish I could know; I wish I knew how it felt to escape this sickly skin, I wish I knew how it felt to fly beneath the heavens, to be careless, to soar. I wish I knew how it felt for emptiness and ugliness to seep out of my tired veins to be replaced by beauty and ecstasy. I wish I knew how it felt to hear the first morning song of the lustrous red-breasted robin, nestled in the tress, like a musicbox playing a passionate melody in my newborn ears. I wish I knew how it felt to suckle on the dew from the white breast of a rose, flowing like liquid poetry on my tongue. I wish I knew how it felt to be lured by the sweet, exotic fragrance of a peach stained blossom, felling it's silky layers engulf me in it's love. I wish I knew how it felt to feel magnolia leaves gently caressing my glorious wings, like God's fingertips to the golden strings of a harp, brushing softly against the palette of my colours. I wish I could feel the mist of the cloud's tears, trickling down from the deep blue sky to dance upon my face. I wish that I knew how it felt to be greeted by the warmth of the crimson yellow sun and by the chill of the wind, penetrating my long spine. I wish I knew how it would feel for my slender body to marinate in the wide open air - to glide. I wish I could ingest the crispness of the autumn air above the clouds, grand and marvelous the rapture. I wish I could know how it felt to journey to the ends of the earth to find glory and peace, evermore, where pain and sorrow and lonliness no longer exist. I wish I could know how it would feel to digest freedom. I wish I knew how it felt to be free. A butterfly. By * Melissa Honeybee * |
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| © Copyright 1999 Melissa P. Long-Monette - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Welcome to the dark forum Ms. Honeybee  Your poem was lovely, a wish we have all had at one time or another. Nice imagery Reach inside your heart, that is the greatest gift you can bestow. Merry Christmas.. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
To everyone, I was having a kelly bundy moment and accidently wrote the wrong title down, sorry about that. the actual title is BUTTERFLY I am new at this site, so please be patient with me, it will not happen again, my apologies. * Melissa Honeybee * |
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Niemczak Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 51 |
After my car accident I hate how I looked. I did everything possible to make myself look better in my eyes. I felt that if I could see the scars on my face so could others. It took almost three years of constantly changing for me to realize that the physical scars were gone, I just needed to heal the emotional ones. Your poem made me cry. You touched me very deeply. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my poem and who have replyed. For this poem, I get either 1) I loved it and it made me cry or 2) it was too monotonous, but, nice imagery comment. I am very much aware that the "I wish" line is monotnous, but, I am the writer remember, I wanted it that way simply because I feel that I am the caterpillar, and everyday of my life, I wish to become the butterfly. People say that I am very harsh on the caterpillar, that it too is beautiful, but, I am the caterpillar and there's nothing beautiful about myself right now. The "I wish" line is only monotonous and boring if it serves no purpose and goes no where, but, I feel that I am making a point in this poem. One day, I was just sitting watching TV, very overwhelmed by many things, and I wrote this poem in 15 minutes, the words just poured out of my pen onto paper. And thank you Iris and Niemczak for enjoying my poem, it does mean a lot. I am very happy for you Niemczak that you have found some peace in your life now and I am very touched as well that my poem has touched you. * Melissa Honeybee * |
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FreeByrd Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267 |
MH, I don't think the I wish makes it monotonous at all. To me, it helps to drive home the thoughts and needs of the caterpillar ( YOU ). Then the last line sets it free " A butterfly " The first verse is my favorite part. "I wish I knew how it felt to stand before my bedroom window, Touch my hand to the inviting glass, and leave this caterpillar body. I envisioned the window as being the cocoon. "I wish" I could write something this dynamic in 15 minutes. -RS There must be some kinda way out of here... say the joker to the thief There's to much confusion, I can't get no relief - Hendrix |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Thank you so much Free Byrd for the compliment, it really does mean a lot to me.I have finally decided not to change a thing about my poem now, it will stay exactly as it is, which means that I am leaving the "I wish" lines, because the majority like it and feel that it is effective. (note that this poem is also posted in the critical analysis), so I am taking both sites' opinions to aid my final decision. * Melissa Honeybee * If anyone else posts a reply to my poem, feel free to tell me if you like the "I wish" lines or not. Thanks |
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