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Love Hurts
| Dark Poetry #1 |
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Love Hurts |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Love Hurts I arrived home from work one night to find my family nowhere in sight. I looked around for someone that cared, I looked all over the house but no one was there... My boys bunkbeds were gone and their dressers too. If I could find a note it would explain so much better, all the thoughts I was thinking...the seeds of my displeasure. I felt so all alone on that night... So much emotional pain was keeping me in its sad company there. The mental pain was no easier for me to bear. Once I was hit in the nose so hard that it knocked me out. Two of my friends walked me on the street until I finally came about. When I was revived I felt dazed and out of place, it felt like a Mack truck had just run over my face. Another time I was stationed in Germany with a country soldier, who suddenly jumped from the back of an armoured personnel carrier without any warning, and kicked me hard in the groin early one morning. Soon I was in another carrier lying in the back, on my back. I was not moving, I was in agony, I was groaning and moaning. I suffered for hours as a matter of fact. Emotional, mental and physical pain sometimes visit your life even when you care. Unwanted, unneeded and uninvited is the message they will share. "It's your turn now"...she said that to me. With anger and resentment and bitterness in her heart she said "Now I'm free". With hatred and revenge and disgust she said "I don't Love you anymore". "I killed you off. Don't you know that you no longer exist". "Go on with your life. You are off my list". I felt all alone night after desperate night... Try going to sleep without a will to live stuck in your brain, and waking up most mornings with a fresh dose of unwanted pain, to once again hear torture and torment calling out your bruised name. This Love hurts....just ask Beth or James. Jameslee@August10,1995 December23,1999 [This message has been edited by jmlee12345 (edited 04-09-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 1999 JamesMichael - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
God this is so awful and sad, but I gotta say love doesn't hurt, it's love gone wrong that hurts. (HUGS) hope you have found some happiness for Christmas. There is always something to be grateful for on Xmas Day. Look for the light you'll find it.  Reach inside your heart, that is the greatest gift you can bestow. Merry Christmas.. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Hi Isis, This event happened to me in about 1991 and as I finally wrote about it in 1995 it was a relief to see the truth on paper. It has helped me to face up to my weaknesses. This happened to me because I was not a loving and a caring husband...I was not emotionally available for my wife and I was more of a father figure to her than a friend, a companion or a lover. And so perhaps it is not fair to say that Love hurts so I will say that anyone that fails to properly Love and appreciate their spouse could find themselves in a similiar heartbreaking situation such as this. Also much progress has been made in facing up to my part in this failure. When we were finally able to discuss this on the phone my exwife would ask me over and over questions about why I did this or that and why I didn't do other things and it was hard offering an explanation to her. Finally, I realized the truth, so one day she called me and I told her the answer to all of her questions would be summed up in just a short phrase. I told her the reason why we had so many problems was because she had been married to an a--hole. She replied Oh!!! She never ask me specific questions again concerning those failures because the comment explained everything. So anyway, that was a ways back in my past and I've come a long way since then, I appreciate women more and I definately try to have a soft and understanding heart. New women in my life, new adventures, and yes I did have a wonderful Christmas and I hope you did also. Thank you for your concern, James |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
James I am so glad. Glad it was a while ago, and glad you learned and are a better person for it. (HUGS) of happiness and understanding this time At the touch of love everyone becomes a poet. (Plato) ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
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JennyLee Senior Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 1461Northwestern, NJ. |
I can relate so well to this! You have put your feelings down in words so very well. Jenny Lee Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thank you Isis and Jenny for reading and commenting about my poem. I enjoy hugs Isis and especially hugs of happiness. Isis and Jenny I was talking today to my friend Tina and I told her I wanted this year to be my year of happiness. I know that I brought this pain upon myself but It still hurt me very much but someone told me something that gives me lots of hope. They said that it was a woman that hurt me but it will also be a woman that will heal me. I am looking forward to that special woman. I have some wonderful healing friends like Mich and Tina and they are the most beautiful women in this whole world but I'm still looking for the one just for me. Oh Jenny, I love your saying at the bottom as I have been thinking about this "mutual" thing for a while now. James |
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Bojopy Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 391 |
This related to me in all it's ways. Pains of a different kind and the one's that really hurt beyond just that day. I was once like this with women but I think as a man we all need to feel this to ever have the chance to really fall in love. The give and take in a relationship is so important. You seem to be doing better now and I'm glad..........Bojopy oh yeah read this you might like it (my quote). "Write down what you say if what you say is not written down" (Bojopy) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Thanks for reading and replying bojopy. The sad part is all she wanted was for someone to love her. James |
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Stevia Junior Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 28 |
James, this was so sad and yet s beautiful the important thing is that you know now what mistakes were made. I know what you have been through.I sometimes kick myself for mistakes made.Hang in there. |
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Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Hey I have read this before and like it the second time round too!! About my poem you left a comment on, I don't really feel that way. I love to love James, so don't worry. Perhaps we should email each other, and get to know one another some more.????? Let your heart guide you. It whispers, so listen closely. ~Isis~ (Sovereign of the Spirit) |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Isis I'm not worried anymore I have confidence in you...I was concerned for you...something in your poem touched my heart. Thank you for appreciating my poem...makes me feel good. I would like to email you...yes, yes, yes. |
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