»
Archives
»
Dark Poetry #1
»
Not so Special
| Dark Poetry #1 |
|
Not so Special |
|
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland 
|
Twas only a humble shop girl, Born on the wrong side of town, She worked so hard for so little all day long, Feeling out of touch and down. Her dreams they came in daily, She waited on them, They walked out again barely acknowledging her, When would someone really see her? When? She was always too proud, To flirt or tease, But only too eager, To serve and to please. He would be coming in soon, And she could hardly wait, A special man who saw her, Who stayed even after he finished his plate. Lunchtime came and went, Her dream guy never showed, She had nothing else to live for you see, Her life force it wavered and slowed. She walked hom down town, The sky it slowly began to rain, With head bowed, She walked on in silence and in pain. Up endless stairs she climbed, Her heart still back at the diner, Soon it would be over, She could think of nothing finer. In the attic she sat with pills in hand, She took them all with tears blurring her vision, He wouldn't notice her absence tomorrow, Yes, she had made the right decision... What the inner voice says will NOT disappoint the hoping soul. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
||
| © Copyright 1999 Isis - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
I don't think suicide is ever the right decision. No one on earth can bring you happiness, if you don't find it in yourself first. Sorry if I sound like I'm preaching but I've known a few suicides and the scars they've left behind...to me it is an uforgivable sin. Your poem captures the despair one must feel quite vividly, even still. Michael [This message has been edited by Michael (edited 12-17-1999).] |
||
|
Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
I ditto what Michael said. Everyone is special, we just need to see it in ourselves. No one can find happiness out side of themselves. You, my sister, are very special and your poetry speaks from your heart. Well done. |
||
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Michael my dear, I hate suicide to a passion myself. You haven't seen my responses to other suicide related stuff have you? This is an adaption of an old 80's song is all. I don't condone it, never is there a need to end it all, never... What the inner voice says will NOT disappoint the hoping soul. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
||
|
Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
I agree. It is too permanent a solution for usually temporary pain. I too have had personal experience with people who have committed suicide and the pain on those left behind is monumental. Grief compounded with a host of other emotions. So very sad. You have portrayed the desperation that could lead one to such an act quite vividly, Isis. An excellent piece of writing. Denise |
||
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
Thanks Denise And Marilyn. I lost a neighbour to suicide so I saw first hand what it did to his family. As I've said I based it on a song is all. I am thoroughly against suicide nothing warrants it, except perhaps severe degenerating illness .. What the inner voice says will NOT disappoint the hoping soul. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
||
|
Pepper Member Elite
since 1999-08-19
Posts 3079Southern Florida |
Although I agree with everyone else on the issue of suicide, I found your poem poigniant and very well written Isis. I'm curious as to what song was the muse for this?< !signature--> A soul that writes from the heart and shares it, truly gives a gift extraordinaire! [This message has been edited by Pepper (edited 12-18-1999).] |
||
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
It was called 'What About Me?' in the song she didn't commit suicide though. It was an Australian group Moving Pictures. It was number one for many weeks  What the inner voice says will NOT disappoint the hoping soul. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
||
|
Drgnslyer New Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 7Kamloops BC Canada |
I honestly hope I'm not offending anyone, and if anyone has a weak stomach for suicidal topics, a forewarning, this will get kinda heavy. So proceed with caution. I've noticed all of you saying that suicide is (in a nutshell) an evil thing to do... I myself have been suicidal, four years suicidal til last year, when I finally pulled out of it's clutches. It started when I was in grade six believe it or not, and it lasted to the end of grade ten. I am now in grade twelve, and looking very much forward to my graduation, but I have not forgotten those dark four years of my life. There are many unknowns about suicide, and many misconceptions. Many people think that when someone commits suicide, they did it solely for themselves, and solely to end their pain, and nothing more. Well, i'm living proof that the myth mentioned above is only a myth. What truly goes through a suicidal person's mind (and this is not based solely on my experience, many psychologists that have thoroughly studied this agree with my point) is that it is for everyone's benefit that they go. They believe that with their leaving life as we know it, they are doing everyone a favor, and that many people will have weight lifted off their shoulders. Well, I have had this go through my mind, i've had the rope(well, telephone cord) around my neck, i've had the knife to my throat, stomach, wrist, I've planned it all out...but I never followed through(obviously). I guess something within me calmed my senses(which were going beserk at the time). Luckily for me, i'm still here. I guess, after all that rambling, my main point is that suicide is something that, to the person, seems like it is the only option, and that nothing else is available. They see it that, not only are they doing themselves a favor, but everyone else by getting their "lowly" lives out of their hair. As false a feeling that this is, yet it's true in the sense, that people inveloped in depression and suicide feel it to be true. The only way we can learn about this kind of thing, is if we actually stick our feet in it and for a moment, and only a moment, experience what the person feels. To actually put ourselves in that person's shoes for a flash of time, then we would understand what really goes on in their heads. Then, then we can say that suicide is evil, then we can say that it is self centered. And I am willing to wager that not many will be saying that kind of thing after they feel the sheer helplessness and remorse that a person engulfed in suicide feels. In all truth, it makes daily problems trifle in comparism. Live life to it's fullest!!! |
||
|
Drgnslyer New Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 7Kamloops BC Canada |
One more thing, as desparing as the poem may make suicide seem, it is nothing compared to the feeling itself. Honeltly, no amount of words, no amount at all can come close to the raw emotion felt at such a crutial juncture in a person's life as suicide..... |
||
|
JOY 14 Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419Wisconsin USA |
Agreeing once more here. I doubt it was the right decision. Although when such un bearable pain is felt over anyone or anything suicide crosses the mind and may be attempted. And once that decision is made and done, there is no turning back. JOY |
||
|
Drgnslyer New Member
since 1999-12-20
Posts 7Kamloops BC Canada |
I am forced to agree with you, but although it was not the RIGHT decision...the point is that to the person there generally is no other decision. I have never condoned the use of suicide, but I do understand the difficulties of it. Live life to it's fullest!!! |
||
|
starboards Member
since 1999-10-14
Posts 467longwood, florida |
Isis-- great adaptation...i know that u arent suicidal so i'm not that worried... ashley "I wont look back, I wont regret, though it hurts like hell someday I will forget" |
||
|
Fairy Colours Member
since 1999-12-02
Posts 169Sunrise,Fl,US |
This was indeed a great poem. I myself use to be suicidal, but for reasons now that I know are stupid. What always stopped me is the pain of actually going through with anything and realizing that these people ( reasons) aren't worth my life. I was actually worried for a while Isis because I thought that you were going through this. Glad to know it was just a topic < !signature--> --A Little Fairy-- [This message has been edited by Fairy Colours (edited 12-21-1999).] |
||
|
Lil OnE Member
since 1999-12-14
Posts 234Pasco County. Fl. |
Well, Isis, being suicidal and currently in a 'mental institution' i am very happy and relieved to know that this was just a poem to see how other people have felt. I have been depressed and suicidal off and on for five years now, and im finally getting help with it. and to agree with Drgnslyer, it's not something people want to do for themselves, it's only to sstop ruining other peoples' lives that we feel we can only screw up even more. Still, it was a wonderful poem, and I'm glad i got to read it. Keep up the good work!! |
||
|
Isis Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296Sunny Queensland |
I'm glad for all these responses. Didn't realise it would cause a bit of a debate. Just took the song and twisted the ending, being creative is all. I don't condone it, but I do understand it, I do. Thanks everyone What the inner voice says will NOT disappoint the hoping soul. ~Isis~ (Daughter of Mystery) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
