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danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin

0 posted 1999-11-21 11:31 PM


Daddy...
What did I do to make you not want me?
Everything I've ever done
Was to make you proud of me
I only wanted to help you see
How much you are a part of me

Is it because I am a reflection of you?
Am I a constant reminder
Of the mistakes you've made
And the consequences you could not bear?

Or am I to much like my mother?
Is that why you don't care?

If that's the case
Then I am sorry
It's something I can't change

Just like the way I can't make you love me
And I can't make you care
I can only accept the realization
That you will never be there


[This message has been edited by danni (edited 11-22-1999).]

© Copyright 1999 Dannielle - All Rights Reserved
Thaddeus
Member
since 1999-11-16
Posts 78
MA
1 posted 1999-11-22 12:09 PM


very powerful,direct and sad. The ending is a little nebulous... is the realization you accept is that the his love and care will never be there, that love or care in general will never be there or that he will never be there. Each answer leads to a slightly different, yet equally sad resolve.

have you ever heard the song "The Things We've Handed Down" by Marc Cohn. It is from a different point of view, but is kin to your thoughts
"I wonder who you'll look like
Will your hair fall down and curl
Will you be a Mama's boy
Or Daddy's little girl
Will you be a sad reminder
Of what's been lost along the way
Maybe you can help me find her
In the things you do and say"

There are things within each of us
that are reflections and gifts
and likenesses, that are
because of an once act of love,
because of DNA
whether it is recognized by the giver,
you can find things within to hold on to
and things to
let go

danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
2 posted 1999-11-22 01:46 AM


I accidentally left out a word in the end.
No Thaddeus, I have never haerd that song.
Thank you for bringing it to my attention.
There is a difference though, My dad was in my life until six months ago. Though obviously not very involved in it. He turned his back to me more than one to many times. So I chose to turn my back on him that last time. It may have been better if I did not come to know the man he really is.

Deep Blue Me
Member
since 1999-11-04
Posts 396
By a big lake
3 posted 1999-11-22 02:02 PM


Always a brutal situation when the people that we should be able to trust implicitly are not who they should be. I wish he'd handled himself better for your sake, and I resolve now to be better for my boy. You both deserve better fathers.

DB

danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
4 posted 1999-11-23 12:58 PM


DB-
You have given quite the compliment, if I've aided in your resovle.
Thank you.

Isis
Member Ascendant
since 1999-09-06
Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland
5 posted 1999-11-23 01:18 AM


So sad for you Dannii, he should've done his job. Obviously he can't be too good a man to have let you down so, if you think this way maybe the hurt will be a bit less.
((HUGS)) my friend.

------------------
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there IS to celebrate.
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)



FreeByrd
Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 267

6 posted 1999-11-23 10:24 AM


danni this is a fabulous piece.

A situation you did not create.Dad has to come to terms with it himself. We all make mistakes and unfortunately they always seem to affect others.

I know he thinks about you. He just may not know how to fix it. Don't give up.

-RS

------------------

JOY 14
Senior Member
since 1999-09-22
Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA
7 posted 1999-11-28 11:31 AM


I'd like to say I'm sorry. But I don't know if you want or even think you should have pitty. It wouldn't be that though. Because even though I've never been through the ordeal of a uncaring father, I still feel for you. Keep strong.


danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
8 posted 1999-11-28 11:36 AM


Thank you for the for your response and support. And an apology is never unwanted and doesn't always equal pity. Thanks again Joy 14
lostboy
Member
since 1999-11-21
Posts 275
New Hampshire, USA
9 posted 1999-11-28 11:38 AM


If some parents could only be knocked over the head and given a clue!!! I'm lucky to have had (still do) great ones but know so many who were bailed on and they always thought it was their fault. It isn't!!
Very touching danni, his loss for sure.

danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
10 posted 1999-11-28 12:01 PM


Thanks lostboy. I must also add that there is a wonderful man who chose to take on the father role. So I do have two wonderful parents. I just can't help but be haunted by the question why. Why couldn't the man who helped create me find some pride in me.
Thanks again!

Stevia
Junior Member
since 1999-11-25
Posts 28

11 posted 1999-11-28 01:08 PM


Danni, although there are problems times when you think not too much of your father,you should think of the other stuff too.I lost both my parents when I was very young, and I know that although this may not say something now , it will later.We all make mistakes,a better person is he who forgives.If you need anything email me.
ThUnDeRkYsS
Senior Member
since 1999-09-23
Posts 727
Wisconsin
12 posted 1999-11-28 02:02 PM


Such a sad, heartfelt piece. I am glad to hear that somebody as wonderful as you deserve has replaced him... but you can never rule out the possibility of people changing, and your real father comming to a harsh realization that he has pushed away something so special, a piece of himself, and come back a new person. I wish only happiness in whatever happens though danni!! Wonderful job!

------------------
Life is what you make of it... Not what you let it be

danni
Senior Member
since 1999-11-20
Posts 688
wisconsin
13 posted 1999-11-28 02:06 PM


Stevia- I am terribly sorry about your loss.
Believe me I have forgiven him the best way I can. I just can't forget how he's made me feel.
Thunderkyss- If he should come back a changed person it would be an answered prayer. But they hope grows dimmer with every passing month.
Thanks to you both for your best wishes and support.

Deverone
Member
since 1999-10-13
Posts 136
San Antonio, Tx, USA
14 posted 1999-11-28 07:57 PM


Danni....I know the way you feel and I think I understand this from the bottom of my heart.....My mother was the one I was left without and it can truly make a child or an adult feel helpless sometimes. I never got to know her and was very resentful towards her. I never wanted the chance to talk to her and when I did have the courage to finally want that chance, she was lost to me altogether.(she died) I have a lot of questions I want answers to and a spot in my heart that may never truly heal, but as I try to forgive her more and more each day I feel those answers to the questions I have/ had are being answered within my heart.

The pain will subside and you will feel better for trying to forgive someone that may not know how to begin to forgive themselves just yet.

By the way GREAT POEM.



------------------
Deverone

"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out".

----Ray Bradbury---



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