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Dont have a good name yet

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BlOoD TiEs
Junior Member
since 10-02-1999
Posts 31
New York City


0 posted 11-21-1999 09:06 PM       View Profile for BlOoD TiEs   Email BlOoD TiEs   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit BlOoD TiEs's Home Page   View IP for BlOoD TiEs

I wonder the urban jungle
With a gun and a shovel
looking for a decent grave
to my body I'm no longer a slave

Looking for a decent grave
I know my choice was not brave
pondering what will be of my soul
As I the coward, lost control

Pondering what will be of my soul
will I be trapped in my little hole
I question if there is an afterlife
Away from my pain and safe from strife

I question if there is an afterlife,
I never prayed and I lived by the knife,
Whats the punishment for my unholy deed?
Is mine the character in which evil may feed

Whats the punishment for my unholy deed?
Will I be ready to pay for all my greed?
Is there a hell where many have burned?
Will the pain I inflicted be returned?

Is there a hell where many have burned?
Am I just like them, is my soul doomed?
The evil deep inside them, there mind consumed,
Will my life of torment be resumed?

The evil deep inside them, there mind consumed,
I have found my little hole to be entumbed
The choice was not mine, it was written by fate.
Hell should should hear me knocking and open up the gate

The choice was not mine it was written by fate
Any doubts I have now have come to late
I have givin myself a mortal blow
I did not know I would be dying this slow



------------------
© Copyright 1999 Wiser - All Rights Reserved
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


1 posted 11-21-1999 09:09 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis

Scary dark stuff my friend

------------------
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is to celebrate.
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)


JennyLee
Senior Member
since 09-01-99
Posts 1478
Northwestern, NJ.


2 posted 11-21-1999 10:02 PM       View Profile for JennyLee   Email JennyLee   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for JennyLee

This is well done, the last verse hits me to the core!


Jenny Lee

------------------
Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.


Deverone
Member
since 10-13-1999
Posts 136
San Antonio, Tx, USA


3 posted 11-22-1999 01:12 AM       View Profile for Deverone   Email Deverone   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deverone

This is really good.....makes me think about some of the things I have done that I wish I could take back.

VERY Good indeed.

------------------
Deverone

"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out".

----Ray Bradbury---


Deep Blue Me
Member
since 11-04-1999
Posts 403
By a big lake


4 posted 11-22-1999 04:08 PM       View Profile for Deep Blue Me   Email Deep Blue Me   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Deep Blue Me

If we could just have that do-over. I know I'd be happier. I see the gravity of this character's position, I can only hope it is a perspective piece, but guaging from the depth of feeling with which you have expressed this work, I get the feeling my hope is in vain. This is excellent writing, Ties. I look for more from you, and anxiously.

DB
Michael
Moderator
Member Ascendant
since 08-13-99
Posts 6333
California


5 posted 11-22-1999 07:48 PM       View Profile for Michael   Email Michael   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Michael

Deeply Dark, BloodTies, welcome to the Dark Forum.


Michael
BlOoD TiEs
Junior Member
since 10-02-1999
Posts 31
New York City


6 posted 11-22-1999 08:40 PM       View Profile for BlOoD TiEs   Email BlOoD TiEs   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit BlOoD TiEs's Home Page   View IP for BlOoD TiEs

wow thanx for all the nice replies
truly apreciated

------------------
Isis
Member Ascendant
since 09-06-99
Posts 6390
Sunny Queensland


7 posted 11-22-1999 08:53 PM       View Profile for Isis   Email Isis   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Isis's Home Page   View IP for Isis




You are welcome Blood Ties!! Keep 'em coming!!

------------------
The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there IS to celebrate.
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)


Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 05-20-99
Posts 24426
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA


8 posted 10-18-2005 08:55 AM       View Profile for Nan   Email Nan   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Nan's Home Page   View IP for Nan

sugarr
New Member
since 05-01-2006
Posts 1
Canada


9 posted 05-01-2006 02:45 PM       View Profile for sugarr   Email sugarr   Edit/Delete Message      Click to visit sugarr's Home Page   View IP for sugarr

Reeally good poem...I enjoyed it.
 
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