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Dark Poetry #1

Poor Little Man

Yoin
Junior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 29

0 posted 1999-11-11 05:22 PM

Poor Little Man
---------------

Upon shards of memories
tired feet drag.
Naked and stumbling,
mumbling and weeping.

Aww, poor little man
pathetically holding on
to his dead life like
a faceless corpse
to dance with.

Yoin

Deep Blue Me
Member

since 1999-11-04

Posts 396
By a big lake

1 posted 1999-11-11 05:45 PM

I really like this,really, really, really

DB

------------------
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past."
----The Great Gatsby----
==F. Scott Fitzgerald==

Yoin
Junior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 29

2 posted 1999-11-11 05:53 PM

I am glad you liked it, DB

Yoin

JennyLee
Senior Member

since 1999-09-01

Posts 1461
Northwestern, NJ.

3 posted 1999-11-11 05:55 PM

Nice Work

Jenny Lee

------------------
Love is an attempt at penetrating another being,But it can only succeed if the surrender is mutual.

Yoin
Junior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 29

4 posted 1999-11-11 06:07 PM

Thank you Jenny

Yoin

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

5 posted 1999-11-12 03:57 AM

Wow...what a harsh reality...
well, if he's still dancing he's doing better than me.

michael

JOY 14
Senior Member

since 1999-09-22

Posts 1419
Wisconsin USA

6 posted 1999-11-14 03:39 PM

I enjoyed this one, especialy the ending.

"...like a faceless corpse to dace with."

Good job!

Yoin
Junior Member

since 1999-11-09

Posts 29

7 posted 1999-11-14 04:27 PM

Thank you both, Michael and Joy.

Yoin

Isis
Member Ascendant

since 1999-09-06

Posts 6296
Sunny Queensland

8 posted 1999-11-14 06:25 PM

Is he a good little man, or a bad one??
Like this muchly!!

------------------
Through poetry my heart and soul truly sing...
~Isis~
(Daughter of Mystery)

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