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Passions in Poetry

Reflections on Grief - IV

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suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


0 posted 06-29-2004 12:33 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for suthern

Unwelcome Artiste

Grief is a manipulator

It sculpts the features
Of helpless faces
Lips up, then down
They smile or frown
Inappropriately, without volition

Conducting a dirge
Of destiny no longer our own
The choirmaster is tireless
As verse after verse
The requiem continues

Lives dangle from strings
Lacking all purpose
Mere marionettes
Who’ve long forgotten
What mercy feels like

In painter’s smock
Grief chooses a palette
That lacks yellow
There are no lavenders
Pinks or red
Only shades of bleak

The tapestry it weaves
Of broken threads
And unraveled edges
Has no resemblance
To the one we’d planned

It directs a dream
That erases smiles
And introduces screams
The theatre’s exit signs
Are all unlighted

It choreographs a dance
Of exhausted maneuvers
Around shards of broken heart
© Copyright 2004 suthern - All Rights Reserved
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 08-26-99
Posts 46297
displaced


1 posted 06-29-2004 12:37 PM       View Profile for passing shadows   Email passing shadows   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for passing shadows

I really love this series

please do continue on writing
and I will be here nodding
Ratleader
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 01-23-2003
Posts 7179
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass


2 posted 06-29-2004 12:42 PM       View Profile for Ratleader   Email Ratleader   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Ratleader's Home Page   View IP for Ratleader

Astounding -- this series was already among the best poetry PIP has seen...that you are able to continue it without losing any of the intensity or creative drive is just...well, astounding.

Hats-off to you, Laura -- and toss 'em in the air!

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 08-14-2001
Posts 37801
Somewhere in time~


3 posted 06-29-2004 12:46 PM       View Profile for Enchantress   Email Enchantress   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Enchantress

"It directs a dream
That erases smiles
And introduces screams
The theatre’s exit signs
Are all unlighted

It choreographs a dance
Of exhausted maneuvers
Around shards of broken heart"

Yes, you have captured it well.
Very well said indeed.
Hugs~
Martie
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since 09-21-1999
Posts 28608
California


4 posted 06-29-2004 12:49 PM       View Profile for Martie   Email Martie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Martie's Home Page   View IP for Martie

Amazing!!
Copperbell
Senior Member
since 11-08-2003
Posts 952


5 posted 06-29-2004 02:20 PM       View Profile for Copperbell   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Copperbell

this is the first I've read of your series - such a hard part of life
Earth Angel
Member Empyrean
since 08-27-2002
Posts 40647
Realms of Light


6 posted 06-29-2004 02:28 PM       View Profile for Earth Angel   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Earth Angel's Home Page   View IP for Earth Angel

You have woven a tapestry of grief and sadness ~ brilliantly! VERY well written, Dear Belle of the South, North, East and West!

I sense these poems on grief come from your very deep knowing through personal experience...

Comforting embrace,
EA
Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 07-29-99
Posts 5839
Ala bam a


7 posted 06-29-2004 03:55 PM       View Profile for Toerag   Email Toerag   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Toerag

There's no such thing as "Good Grief" is there gal?....Fine, fine write gal...
Ericc
Member Elite
since 01-31-2003
Posts 4261


8 posted 06-29-2004 04:08 PM       View Profile for Ericc   Email Ericc   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Ericc

Wow...!!

Eric
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


9 posted 06-29-2004 05:25 PM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

PS: I'm not sure the 6th is the last... I don't seem to have much choice in the matter. LOL Thank you! *S*

Ratleader: Thank you, my friend... you are too kind... but I sure hope you don't stop. *S*

Enchantress: Thank you so much! *S*

Martie: Thank you! *S*

Copperbell: It is that... I thank you so much! *S*

EA: They turn me inside out... if that's any indication. *S* Thank you, my friend... for the comments and the comfort. *S*

Toerag: Only in Charlie Brown cartoons! *S* Thank you, my friend... so very much! *S*

Ericc: Thank you! *S*
iliana
Member Patricius
since 12-05-2003
Posts 13488
USA


10 posted 06-29-2004 06:38 PM       View Profile for iliana   Email iliana   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for iliana

"In painter’s smock
Grief chooses a palette
That lacks yellow
There are no lavenders
Pinks or red
Only shades of bleak"

suthern -- you say it sooooo well.   .....jo
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 01-22-2000
Posts 18986


11 posted 06-29-2004 07:08 PM       View Profile for Janet Marie   Email Janet Marie   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Janet Marie

In painter’s smock
Grief chooses a palette
That lacks yellow
There are no lavenders
Pinks or red
Only shades of bleak

The tapestry it weaves
Of broken threads
And unraveled edges
Has no resemblance
To the one we’d planned

It directs a dream
That erases smiles
And introduces screams
The theatre’s exit signs
Are all unlighted

It choreographs a dance
Of exhausted maneuvers
Around shards of broken heart
=============================


well you sure worked this one to a T...
totally captured your theme with your extended metaphors and personifications.
Cleverly written....  
just wish it didnt all have to be flet to give us such wisdom.
going on to see the next one....
the moth will be back.
catalinamoon
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Member Rara Avis
since 06-03-2000
Posts 9897
The Shores of Alone


12 posted 06-30-2004 09:52 PM       View Profile for catalinamoon   Email catalinamoon   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit catalinamoon's Home Page   View IP for catalinamoon

Hi, so sorry you are in the midst of this pain. So very well written here, this terrible feeling.
Hugs
Sandra
suthern
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Seraphic
since 07-29-99
Posts 20770
on the threshold of a dream


13 posted 07-02-2004 09:48 AM       View Profile for suthern   Email suthern   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for suthern

iliana, JM & catalina moon: Thank you so very much, kind ladies... I appreciate your comments very much! *S*
Marsha
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 07-10-2000
Posts 7542
Maidstone Kent England


14 posted 07-10-2004 07:19 PM       View Profile for Marsha   Email Marsha   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to visit Marsha's Home Page   View IP for Marsha

Suthern beloved one, I can’t begin to express the wonder that is you, its rare in this world to find someone whose talent is matched by ability of extraordinary quality. That you possess both in abundance is clear even to the simple minded, that you then fail to trumpet your gift is incredible. You are modest in the extreme, and you have such an outstanding gift to write simply amazes me.

I cannot say often enough beloved one that your writing is exceptionally good, this series is utterly, utterly, amazing. Your ability to write such emotion is unmatched, that you continue to grace these pages with your gift is something that leaves me awed. YOU are a writer and I am blessed to call you my beloved sister of soul


Love you always
And forever
Mushy

Tomorrow is another day I don't know what it holds
but I can face the future with courage brave and bold

Footprints In My Heart
Kethry

 
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