British Columbia, Canada
Where is the wind I can’t breathe?
My summer dusted sandals scuff sand
In wisps of empathy and total emptiness.
Stifling, I falter, knowing it is just my swollen heart again.
It flutters with each pain and sorrow I take on,
Like a sponge, it grips in a squeeze and empties me.
That once full canister of happiness
Now suspends from a drooped shoulder.
I rest my hand on a parched white fence
Where tips of supple green grass
Yield to sea urchins, shells, and driftwood
I cry knowing these sands of time have been
Charred with bones of many a loved one.
Today I cannot swim,
I would surly drown from the pressure of my pain.
A beautiful dragonfly hovers nearby watching me so intently.
I see she’s holding her eggs wondering what to do
With incubated birth of purple, peach and blue.
Slowly she lowers her treasure,
First one, in my footprint, second on a leaf.
I watch trying to be so unobtrusive and small
As with each precious moment so effortless
She performs her task with perfection in thin air.
I catch my breath in a complete stop,
Gratefully on each execution I exhale in awareness.
In a flash this event pulls me back to realty, an epiphany.
I watch her leave her tiny gifts of life here and there,
Upon the very fence I now remember too well.
Each making my heart ache in gratitude for this day.
Creaking which was once a gate that made no sense,
I walk through it to the ocean’s great door
With toes delightfully wiggling in a mind wander.
This simple dragonfly kindled a memory of a gift once left
Wrapped and tied in blue tissue, and lots of love.
She hid it in the very sand that today caused my tears.
There a parcel so neatly tucked away in surprise
Between the whitewashed boards of this very fence.
I remember that day so well now as she said,
“Tear the tissue carefully now, be careful!”
There it was - a tiny sky blue robin’s egg.
“Now, crack apart the two halves with a velvet touch,
Careful now, don’t break it!”
A loud but simple “oh!” escaped the broad smile of my face.
She had found it sitting on this fence covered in sand.
She wanted me to see life came from within that shell
Shells were made from sand and seed she said that day.
Tiny life emerged from the very thing,
That today in my mind had only meant death.
My heart in that second deflated to a beat of normal
It was then I knew all things happen for a reason.
Suddenly after days of darkness of soul and sorrow’s quiet,
I could hear leaves dancing, and smell the scent of flowers.
I had to wonder how I didn’t see the morning glories
This morning winding through the fingers of the fence.
Thank you Willow for you do guide me.
Thank you Jan for telling me where to turn to.
"Start where you want to finish!"