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Open Poetry #32
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gemjop
Member Elite
since 2002-11-18
Posts 2587
Pencilveinia, USA

0 posted 2004-06-28 03:15 PM



Love songs
only made melodies
after I
had fallen out
of my own....

making sense
after
I had combed through
every way
we had tangled

and cut away.



Disembodied
petals
are romancing the sill

still
delicately alive...

I had never known
the brutality
of nature

'til this.


And still
until we crossed
I only ever knew
vacant beauty

of lust

I had never watched
the tall Gods
outside every window in passing

intermittent breeze
over thier bodies

as clouds switch
on and off
the yellow skin of light
that is laden
over bridges
of branches



until you left me

in the quiet of it all.

© Copyright 2004 gj - All Rights Reserved
miscellanea
Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060
OH
1 posted 2004-06-28 03:38 PM


making sense
after
I had combed through
every way
we had tangled

and cut away.


Isn't this the truth?!  Well expressed!

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

2 posted 2004-06-28 05:14 PM


Hi there prety laydee, wow.. this is fabulous...absolutely!

it's mine, I'm keeping it.

Mxx

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

ctowen
Member Elite
since 2001-10-18
Posts 2286
Green Mountains of VT
3 posted 2004-06-29 02:15 AM


Its like buying a new car, one you know no one in your town has ....

   .... but once you bought it, they're everywhere!!

    
                 ... time to get a scooter!!


                       A Beautiful Smile Milady!

                               *S


                  

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
4 posted 2004-06-29 03:27 AM


love the whole write but the ending grabbed me
Susan Caldwell
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-12-27
Posts 8348
Florida
5 posted 2004-06-29 09:36 AM


"Disembodied
petals
are romancing the sill"


I love that I always have a hard time picking favorite lines from what you write.

Excellent!

"cast me gently into the morning, for the night has been unkind"
~Sarah McLachlan~

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

6 posted 2004-06-29 09:46 AM


as clouds switch
on and off
the yellow skin of light
that is laden
over bridges
of branches


and you dear girl leave me speechless, what talent you have!  Your an inspiration, and oh, by the way, love your pic, you've got beautiful eyes...eyes which see volumns.  


wranx
Member Elite
since 2002-06-07
Posts 3689
Moved from a shack to a barn
7 posted 2004-06-29 11:34 AM


A wonderful read...maybe the best I've seen of yours. Love the metaphors!
Duncan
Member Ascendant
since 2001-08-07
Posts 5455

8 posted 2004-06-29 12:37 PM


"Love songs
only made melodies
after I
had fallen out
of my own....

making sense
after
I had combed through
every way
we had tangled

and cut away."

Gem, you have a way of saying things that makes me wish I could spend a day just rambling through your head...  


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