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Open Poetry #32
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Martie
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since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049
California

0 posted 2004-06-23 06:12 PM



come down now
to the asphalt where I saw you first
that dark place on the hot night
with grit at our backs and all that thirst

we could make sparks with our skin then
and rolling was easy
when our bodies pulled elastic from the sky
and sent it back again

come down now
to the asphalt where I saw you first
take me there again
buttered and fresh like holding hands
let’s go back and just begin

I want to make a new map that skips this horror
like a dream where I can fly
and land safely three years from tomorrow
up up and over


© Copyright 2004 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved
Goodknight
Member Elite
since 2002-06-15
Posts 2386
Ohio, USA
1 posted 2004-06-23 06:42 PM


sure says a lot Martie - when you face very difficult things it seems like re-doing it would be just fine - you write this with so much feeling and the images you evoke are so vivid - my heart and soul go out to you  and Taylor - Paul
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

2 posted 2004-06-23 09:01 PM


we could make sparks with our skin then
and rolling was easy
*** when our bodies pulled elastic from the sky ***
and sent it back again

come down now
to the asphalt where I saw you first
take me there again
*** buttered and fresh like holding hands ***
let’s go back and just begin

=============================

no one personifies like you do girlie.
smiling at you for those verses...
hugging you for the heart-tug of the last verse.


ThisDiamond
Member Rara Avis
since 2002-02-22
Posts 9353
Michigan, USA
3 posted 2004-06-24 12:06 PM


Such faith relishes this plate...
Relationships have tides and storms, and anchor us in strength.
All Blessings,
TD

iliana
Member Patricius
since 2003-12-05
Posts 13434
USA
4 posted 2004-06-24 12:14 PM


Great correlation.... made me think of a bungie (spelling?) jump, somehow.  Oh, if it were all so easy.   ....jo
Mysteria
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since 2001-03-07
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British Columbia, Canada
5 posted 2004-06-24 01:40 AM


I am lost for words Martie
passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
6 posted 2004-06-24 02:54 AM


I wish I could jump three years backwards from yesterday
suthern
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723
Louisiana
7 posted 2004-06-24 03:36 PM


There are so many lines I like so much... then I literally get lost in the longing of the last verse... beautiful work!!
Ericc
Member Elite
since 2003-01-31
Posts 4178

8 posted 2004-06-24 03:59 PM


I agree...each line is perfect!

Eric

Toerag
Member Ascendant
since 1999-07-29
Posts 5622
Ala bam a
9 posted 2004-06-24 04:05 PM


Now Martie...you do know my response to a good looking gal like yourself that says: "Come down now" don't ya?....
Enchantress
Member Empyrean
since 2001-08-14
Posts 35113
Canada eh.
10 posted 2004-06-24 04:15 PM


"come down now
to the asphalt where I saw you first
take me there again
buttered and fresh like holding hands
let’s go back and just begin"

I can feel the ache Martie..to be able to skip forward a few years or go back to the beginning....

~Heart Hugs dear lady~

Something tugs at me, I've no doubt of that.
Something from the sea, whichever one I'm near.
When I stray too far from beachland, it calls me back

Cpat Hair
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Patricius
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793

11 posted 2004-06-24 04:23 PM


:::: nodding::::
Honeybunch
Member Rara Avis
since 2001-12-29
Posts 7115
South Africa
12 posted 2004-06-24 04:42 PM


Martie - it would really be wonderful if we could all make new maps.  There must be a reason why we can't but that doesn't bring us the comfort we require now in these times.  My thoughts are with you.  
kayjay
Member Elite
since 2002-06-24
Posts 2015
Oregon
13 posted 2004-06-24 05:10 PM


To retravel a road is always a wish we make, wanting the power to change.  We can't play hopscotch on the continuum of time.  I wish we could.
Your poem is heartfelt and beautiful, Martie, nothing more can be added.  Ken

Through rubble and trouble and dark of night
The yawn of a dawn will hasten the light

Dark Angel
Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095

14 posted 2004-06-24 05:24 PM


Oh Martie, this is ever beautiful..just like you m'friend.



Maree

The clouds never expect it when it rains, but the sea, changes colour, but the sea, does not change.
~Stevie Nicks~

Greeneyes
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Member Rara Avis
since 2000-09-09
Posts 9903
In Your Poetic Mind
15 posted 2004-06-24 05:38 PM


a true beauty.....

There's a place I like to hide-
open your mind to me-
Visualise your dream-
Record it in the present tense,
I am smiling next to you,
in silen

SimplyGold
Senior Member
since 2002-07-10
Posts 1453

16 posted 2004-06-24 05:49 PM


Thanks Martie,

Very though provoking. It is so hard to turn back but, if we tread too carefully moving forward the excitment is gone. The pain keeps us aware and the pleasure keeps us awake.

SG

Corinne
Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167
state of confusion
17 posted 2004-06-24 09:19 PM


if only we could redo those critical moments in time.

this reminds me of that Elton John song: Come Down in Time.


Corinne

LeeJ
Member Patricius
since 2003-06-19
Posts 13296

18 posted 2004-06-25 10:28 AM


I want to make a new map that skips this horror
like a dream where I can fly
and land safely three years from tomorrow
up up and over


We can make new maps Martie, and we will, each one of us, gets it sooner or later...it's not so hard when we figure out the word allowance....

Your incredibly poetic, I see you living your life so peacefully, come what may?  Yes?  Smiles and hugs, very much enjoyed.

Magnus
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Member Laureate
since 2001-10-10
Posts 14135
South Carolina, USA
19 posted 2004-06-25 01:21 PM


Sending you two giant hugs...and a very well
done for this piece of you that you have
lain out before us....

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
20 posted 2004-06-26 04:28 PM



I believe...

in will power
and faith.

I also believe
in you.

Dr.Moose1
Member Elite
since 1999-09-05
Posts 3448
Bewilderment , USA
21 posted 2004-06-27 02:27 AM


martie,
"up up and over" Thanks for the lift!
Doc

Kevo
Member
since 2004-06-02
Posts 466
Navarro County, Texas, USA
22 posted 2004-06-27 02:51 AM


Martie,

Your words are always so touching, heartfelt, and profoundly important to all things held valuable.  You're poems are such an inspiration.  Your strong will and "elastic" spirit keeps bungie-ing you back to the top of your writer's form and hopefully in spirit as well.  You write so poignantly that I as well as others are able to take other "hidden" messages from your work - aside from the obvious - and apply them to various areas of our existence.  You are truly gifted in that you give a gift everytime you put words to paper.  This treasure is no different.  Simply wonderful, thought-provoking, and inspiring.  You force us to look within at our relationships and question whether or not we would do it again.  Ultimately, that type of introspection makes us better husbands, wives, mothers, fathers, etc.  Thank you.

Kevin

Denise
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Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

23 posted 2004-06-27 09:58 AM


Beautifully expressed, Martie. (((HUGS)))
rwood
Member Elite
since 2000-02-29
Posts 3793
Tennessee
24 posted 2004-06-27 10:57 AM


Your verse always feels like valleys from home. I can't come close to the voice that you possess, but somehow we speak the same language. You write right into where I live.

Love,
Reg

EvocativeVerse2
Senior Member
since 2003-09-10
Posts 1279

25 posted 2004-06-27 04:16 PM


Hello Martie! Long time no see. Oh yes my friend I snuck in for a peak at your work today. I am not disappointed I did. This is exquisite dear friend! I love it of course...but then that went without saying. This is borderline erotic...and that is always good! 8-) Thank-you for sharing your incredilbe gift. Your buddy - Kevin.

Remember, if you're not part of the future, you're history!

Ratleader
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since 2003-01-23
Posts 7026
Visiting Earth on a Guest Pass
26 posted 2004-06-29 12:12 PM


Knowing the depth of this, the source...no answer is possible, except possibly this one:
/pip/Forum88/HTML/000455.html

~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>   ~~(¸¸¸¸ºº>  ~~(¸¸ ¸¸ºº>    ~~~(¸¸ER¸¸ºº>
______________Ratleader______________

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