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 unresolved between a thai lad and I
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Passions in Poetry

unresolved between a thai lad and I

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kaile
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since 02-06-2000
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singapore


0 posted 06-24-2004 02:00 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems   Click to Submit your Poem to Passions  View IP for kaile


after I declined his offer
of whisky for the umpteen time,
two sincere souls fell into oblivion,
not quite knowing how to connect

we seemed to gaze at
the smoke of his cigarette
lesiurely trailing off
into the pitch-dark night

does his culture believe
in companionable silence?

the fireflies shone extra hard,
as if challenging me
to decipher their answer
© Copyright 2004 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
the_loner_23
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since 06-08-2002
Posts 5670
Jacksonville, Florida, USA


1 posted 06-24-2004 03:46 PM       View Profile for the_loner_23   Email the_loner_23   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for the_loner_23

  Awesome poem. I enjoyed the read.

Cold hands means a warm heart

Midnitesun
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Gaia


2 posted 06-24-2004 05:57 PM       View Profile for Midnitesun   Email Midnitesun   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for Midnitesun

kaile, this is an interesting word snapshot of life
you've taken the moment and made it into a full chapter on interpersonal communications
well done
some things never reach resolution
kaile
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3 posted 07-12-2004 01:21 PM       View Profile for kaile   Email kaile   Edit/Delete Message      Find Poems  View IP for kaile

hmm, just some comments from friends. thought i would save them together

well, I'm confused as to how many are contained in this:
a tie lad
an I
me
two souls
fireflies; is that the peanut gallery? or are they part of the previous I, me, thai? souls asking sky why?

This is a thought provoking little snipit of the real cultural....uncomfort? (is that the right word for this?) that occurs.
I like the idea that two people can be trying to communicate but failing about both honestly worrying about it. No one is the bad guy here, with this problem. Also the idea that the fireflies held the answer, as in nature, something we all know and see, can answer our questions. it's a problem we have created this communication business. I hope you drink his whiskey and he drinks your silence and all is well.

This is so wonderfully written..Shows such a picture. I picture you two in a foxhole
situation, just trying to while away time, each uneasy and trying to share in the only way each knows how. If you talk, he may not understand......but if you don't will he? And his offer of his whiskey may be the only
way he has communicated in the past.
This just makes me think and that says it's a truly good piece of writing. You set such a neat scene and your words are so well spoken. A great poem.
 
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