hmm, just some comments from friends. thought i would save them together
well, I'm confused as to how many are contained in this:
a tie lad
fireflies; is that the peanut gallery? or are they part of the previous I, me, thai? souls asking sky why?
This is a thought provoking little snipit of the real cultural....uncomfort? (is that the right word for this?) that occurs.
I like the idea that two people can be trying to communicate but failing about both honestly worrying about it. No one is the bad guy here, with this problem. Also the idea that the fireflies held the answer, as in nature, something we all know and see, can answer our questions. it's a problem we have created this communication business. I hope you drink his whiskey and he drinks your silence and all is well.
This is so wonderfully written..Shows such a picture. I picture you two in a foxhole
situation, just trying to while away time, each uneasy and trying to share in the only way each knows how. If you talk, he may not understand......but if you don't will he? And his offer of his whiskey may be the only
way he has communicated in the past.
This just makes me think and that says it's a truly good piece of writing. You set such a neat scene and your words are so well spoken. A great poem.